Billeah's Secrets Files
by AspiringArmstrong
Summary: From Gravity Falls: Invictus. The Pines always wonder what their cousin is constantly writing on her laptop. One day they sneak on to find out. To their horror there are hundred of fan-fics written about their group. What warped realities has the human embodiment of Bill penned? What unspeakable pairings has the mad god in human form documented?
1. The Mystery of Tiki Island

A/N: This is a kinda side story that takes place between Gravity Falls: Reboot and Invictus. I'll explain more after the story… try and suffer through it :-)

* * *

Dipper's wrists burned as he worked the rough ropes that bound his wrists. He needed to get out and fast. He could feel the heat of the large fire under the massive wrought iron cauldron that he assumed was meant for him.

The tiny creatures, about three feet tall, danced around the pot, chanting prayers to their gods. They looked like living Tiki masks with grass skirts. They were in a jungle clearing in front of various grass huts. On the one hand, Dipper and his sister did find a new species of polynesian creature. But, he's going to die by their hands.

"Mabel!" Dipper screamed. "Tell them to let me go!"

Mabel sat on a high throne and adorned with feathers and decorations. The Tiki-men had chosen her as their Moon-goddess, and he was going to be a feast in her honor.

"I tried, they won't listen to me!" Mabel said. "I'm sorry I got us into this mess!"

"Okay, it's going to be okay." Dipper said and strained against the ropes.

"We never should have come here!" Mabel cried. Dipper looked up at her tear stained face. The dancing flames bathed it in a warm glow. If he wasn't going to die a horrible death, he'd say she looked stunning.

A large flower bound her hair to the side. She still had on her floral bikini from the beach. The Tiki-men adorned her with flower necklaces and had been providing her with various food offerings. She did look like a goddess.

Dipper shook the thoughts out of his head. He needed to escape, not have weird thoughts about his sister before he gets boiled alive. He was regretting leaving the girls in Hawaii to go Mystery Twining on Tiki Island.

The chanting and dancing sped up as the drum beats increased. Mabel looked frantic as she tried to talk to some of the Tiki-men. Dipper worked the ropes the best he could. His wrists burned when he felt something wet fall on his face. He looked up with a smile, blood. Working the bleeding wrist, he was able to coax out more and was able to get enough to use as lubrication. With a jolt, his hand was free. He put it back up and worked the other hand loose. There was still the matter of his legs.

Dipper looked over to Mabel and nodded to her. She understood his look and stood up.

"Let's dance!" She shouted and began to flail about in her own Mabel style dance. The Tiki-men looked up in astonishment, and began to copy her. One of the guarding Tiki-men dropped his spear and ran over to join in. Dipper reached down and grabbed it, and cut the ropes on his feet.

With a sigh of relief, he stood up and popped his back and neck. The Tiki-men were still distracted by Mabel's hula dance. Dipper snuck up behind the chief struck him the butt end of the spear, rendering him unconscious. The Tiki-men looked to Dipper in stunned silence. Dipper removed the Tiki crown and kicked the unconscious creature into the crowd. He placed the crown on his head in defiance.

"I am your king now!" Dipper shouted. "Does anyone want to challenge me?"

Mabel clapped in glee as the Tiki-men bowed down to him. Mabel ran into Dipper's arms, he grabbed and spun her around as she embraced him.

"How did you know that will work?" Mabel said. The drumming resumed, and the Tiki-men danced in front of them. Tiki-men placed a multitude of food offerings in front of Dipper.

"It's simple really, most island cultures are ruled by the king. Whoever has the ornament of authority is the ruler. I take the crown, it means the king is incompetent and the wearer is the best person to rule." Dipper said.

"What's going to happen to the old king?" Mabel asked.

They both turned to the boiling pot of water and gasped in horror as the old king was unceremoniously dumped into the pot. The boiling water woke him up and he flailed about screaming as the Tiki-men lowered the massive lid over him.

"I guess… they eat him." Dipper said. Mabel's face squished up in a grimace.

Dipper sat down in front of the throne. He was too big to sit in it, but he still had to show authority. Mabel sat down on his lap.

"So… I'm the Tiki-goddess, and you're the king. I say we turned the tables on them." Mabel giggled. "So what now? We got back to the boat?"

"I'd like to explore the island some." Dipper said. "We did come here for that. I think now that we've got some friends… or loyal subjects. Maybe they can show us around."

"The girls are going to be worried." Mabel said. "It is pretty late."

"It's too dark to go back to the mainland anyway." Dipper said. "I'll radio in first thing in the morning to get a message to them."

A group of Tiki-men moved up to Dipper and Mabel and tugged on their hands. They lead them out of the main village and through the woods.

"Where are they taking us?" Mabel asked. Dipper shrugged.

"Best we just play along." Dipper said. Mabel nodded and took his hand. Dipper strained to see past the foliage in front of him. The Tiki-men spoke to each other in their unknown language. The jungle brush cleared and Mabel gasped at the view.

They stood in front of a clear blue grotto. Twin waterfalls cascaded down into a pool of the clearest blue. Dipper could make out various fish swimming inside. Bio-luminescent algae carpeted the bottom, casting an blue glow on the surrounding cliffside. Tiki-torches lined the edge of the water, allowing enough light to see where to walk. At the base of the cliff was a large grass hut, big enough for their size.

"Oh… my god." Mabel whispered. "This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"I think that's your house." Dipper said, pointing to the hut. "They work quick."

Mabel pointed to the opposite side of the grotto.

"Looks like they are starting to build yours." She chuckled. Dipper saw a flurry of activity. Tiki-men were building a second hut that was Dipper sized. Mabel walked to the shore and dipped her bare foot in. "Dipper, it's warm!"

"Mabel, this place looks sacred, I don't think they want you swimming inside it." Dipper said. Mabel ignored his protest and put her other foot in. She waited up to her thighs and was about to dive in when the Tiki-men ran forward in protest.

"See?" he said. Mabel walked over to them as they hopped up and down. She knelt down in front of them and the removed her flower and other ornaments.

"Oh they just don't want me to get their things wet." She said. One of them grabbed her bikini top and pulled. Mabel was able to dodge the tiny hand. "Hey!"

"Told you, it's sacred… I guess if you want to swim, you have to be all natural… goddess." Dipper said with a chuckle. "Oh well….what are you doing?"

She gave Dipper a coy grin turned her back to him. Her lithe body glowed in the fires, outlining her supple frame.

"Mabel…." Dipper said. To his horror, she pulled the bikini string, and let go. It seemed to take forever to tumble to the ground. Dipper's eyes locked on to the falling fabrics, his mind screamed a hundred thousand protests, but nothing registered. Mabel slid off the bikini bottoms and revealed her stark naked body to the clear blue waters before her and dove in. The Tiki-men gathered her clothes and trinkets and rushed them over to her hut to put them away.

Dipper could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Mabel broke the surface of the water and flung her long hair back in an arc. She was grinning ear to ear as she swam up to the edge of the lake.

"You going to come in?" Mabel asked.

Dipper kept trying to focus on something other than his naked sister. She seemed to enjoy his discomfort and splashed him.

"Oh come on, we used to take baths all the time," Mabel said. "Stop making it weird."

"We were like… kids then." Dipper stammered.

"Suit yourself…" Mabel said, swimming back to middle of the grotto. "I'm sure if Wendy were here you'd be the first one to strip down."

Dipper sighed. He knew Mabel was never going to let him live this down. Dipper stripped off his clothes and was down to his underwear. He looked over at Mabel. Only her eyes were above the water. She looked like a hungry crocodile… waiting for her prey to enter the water.

"Can… can you turn around at least?" Dipper pleaded. Mabel shook her head no. Dipper sighed and gave up. He freed himself of his shorts and dove into the grotto. Mabel was right, it was warm. He splashed her and swam to the center, trying hide his self conscious attitude. His Tiki subjects gathered his clothes and moved them to his half constructed home.

Mabel swam up behind Dipper and draped her arms around him.

"It's like this place was meant for us." She whispered. "The twin waterfalls. It just feels like us."

Dipper nodded, the more he was here, the more he didn't want to leave. He looked at his wrist and saw the rope burns were completely healed!

"Mabel!" He said, and held up his wrist. He itched all over.

"Dipper!" Mabel gasped. The water was glowing even brighter. She spun him around and held his cheeks to look at her. She took off his eye-patch and eased him underwater.

His whole body itched, his eye burned, and he felt like he was going to suffocate. Mabel brought him back up and wiped away the water over his eye.

"Oh… my god…" she said. Mabel held out her hand. It was full of the scar tissue. "Open your eye Dipper"

Dipper had been so used to the eye-patch, whenever his damaged eye became exposed, he held it shut without thought.

Dipper eye opened. The soft glowing colors of blue and orange bombarded the healed retina. The first thing his healed eye saw was the beautiful Tiki Moon-goddess. Dipper couldn't believe it, the water fixed his eye!

Mabel lunged forward and embraced him. He could feel how warm he was against him, and it set his heart racing. This was wrong.

She grabbed his arm and rubbed as hard as she could, the scarred flesh gave way to reveal soft pink skin. She pulled Dipper to the waterfall and sat him on a rock. She rubbed off the scar tissues from his back, legs, arms and chest. He could feel her kiss the new skin, and each time her lips touched him, it sent electricity through his body.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Mabel said. She seemed to be breathing rather heavy. The sounds of the falls crashed around them. Mabel sat on the rock next to Dipper and smiled. "Almost done…"

She caressed his face with both hands, using her thumbs, she rubbed off the tissue around his ears and his eye. She was careful not to press to hard or rub too fast. She pulled him to her and kissed his reformed eye. He held her, wrapping his arms around her frail naked form. Dipper held her as close as he could, feeling their hearts beating in time to their own music.

"Mabel…" Dipper whispered. She shushed him and didn't let him go. For once his brain didn't scream a thousand protests. He was in the moment, he was here, and that's all he wanted to be. Mabel pulled away to look at him once more, caressing his cheek. She leaned in to kiss his eye again, but Dipper moved her chin to meet his lips.

* * *

"What the hell?!" Dipper screamed in horror, slamming the laptop shut.

"KEEP READING!" Mabel squealed and punched his shoulder. "Why did you stop!"

"It's… gross!" Dipper cringed and took a breath.

"Hurry before she gets back!" Mabel said and bounced up and down. She was hugging a pillow in front of her with a death grip.

Billeah had just gone with Pacifica shopping and left her laptop unlocked. She is always typing on it, and the twin's curiosity got the better of them and snuck into her room to find out what's on it. To their horror, they found a folder called "Stories"

The latest one was titled "Terror on Tiki Island"

"Okay… oh god…" Dipper sighed.

* * *

As the two embraced, they realized their two hearts are one. Dipper carried Mabel under the waterfall and they entwined themselves under it's rejuvenating water.

A cold wind bit through their bodies, snapping them out of the carnal desires they fell into. Never letting go of each other, they retired to Mabel's Tiki hut to continued their new found explorations.

"Do you think this is the right decision?" Mabel asked Dipper. It has been a week since they found the Tiki people. Dipper nodded and tossed the torch into the boat. He pulled her next to him and watched as they severed their last thread to the outside world. No one will know what happened to them, they would be considered lost at sea, and that's what they wanted. They only ever needed each other.

* * *

"That's so romantic!" Mabel grinned.

"It's… she's writing about us Mabel!" Dipper said. "I really don't want to read anymore."

"Shush… keep reading!" Mabel giggled.

* * *

King Dipper and goddess Mabel decided to forgo their old life and rule the Tiki People. No one from the old world found them, and they were happy for years.

One day, king Dipper was surveying his land when he noticed smoke coming from the mountain. He saw a procession of Tiki People leading Mabel up to the volcanic mouth. His heart gripped in panic and he ran to his other half.

"What's going on?" king Dipper asked one of the Tiki. He responded to his king. They must pray to the the spirit of the mountain, he was angry. There was a sense of dread watching Mabel lead a procession up the side of the mountain. He followed along to make sure everything was safe.

"Be careful!" Dipper shouted ahead. Mabel grinned and stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'll be fine, just need to say a few prayers and… hey!" She said. two of the Tiki's bound her hands together. "What's going on?"

One of the Tiki's explained to Dipper. The goddess needed to meet with the mountain god to stop the destruction. Dipper explained it would kill her. The Tiki said if she was not a goddess, she will have to forfeit her life for her betrayal.

Dipper's mind raced for solutions. There were too many Tiki to fight. Mabel was already teetering over a rope bridge pleading to Dipper. The boat was gone, and they had no way off the island. There was no where to hide from the Tiki if they escaped and ran.

A wave of calm washed over Dipper as he knew what he had to do.

Dipper marched through the procession and stood by his sister.

"Dipper… what are you doing?" She said.

"Mabel, There's nothing we can do, if we run, they'll kill us. There's no where to hide and I can't lose you. I love you." Dipper said.

"I love you too" Mabel replied.

"Together?" Dipper asked.

"Forever."

Dipper held Mabel and kissed her for the last time. To the horror of the Tiki, their king fell with the goddess into the mouth of the bubbling lava.

As they fell, never letting go of their embrace, the Tiki watched. No one uttered a word as their goddess and king fell into the molten embrace of the mountain spirit.

The story of the king and the goddess passed into legend. For generations, the Tiki elders told the story of their pure love around the fires to wide eyed Tiki children.

The king and the goddess communed with the mountain spirit and saved them from destruction. They now live together as spirits of the twin waterfalls, healing those who ask and always watching over them for eternity.

* * *

Dipper finished the last line and rubbed his eyes. He was not crying, he told himself, just had some dust in his eye.

"I always knew you'd throw yourself in a volcano for me!" Mabel said. "Come here and give me a hug!"

"No!" Dipper recoiled.

"My Tiki king!" Mabel giggled and chased him around the room. Dipper ran away from his sister who made smooching sounds. Mabel chased him all around Billeah's room, giggling like a mad woman.

"Ah..hem" said a tiny voice behind them. Dipper and Mabel froze and saw Billeah in the doorway.

Billeah must have come back from the salon, the uneven bangs drew a line above her eyebrows, and the wavy hair was straight and long. The style mirrored the same Pacifica wore.

She sported a red and black lace dress he had not seen her wear before. Pacifica must have had a field day with her.

Without acknowledging Dipper and Mabel, Billeah walked between the twins. She closed her laptop lid without making a sound, unplugged it and left her room. She closed the door with a gentle touch, allowing the stunned siblings to hear the audible click as the door secured.

"You think she's mad?" Mabel asked. Dipper shrugged. He walked to the door to open it and found it stuck.

"Did she just lock us in?" Dipper asked. Mabel ran to the door and tried to open it but to no avail. Dipper pounded on the door.

"Let us out!" he bellowed, but no one came. "Yea… she's mad."

Dipper turned around and Mabel was giving him a devious grin.

"Looks like it's just us now… Tiki king!" She said and lunged at him.

"GO AWAY!" he bellowed and ran away from his sister.

"FALL INTO A VOLCANO WITH ME!" Mabel shouted and erupted in giggles as she chased her protesting brother around the room.

* * *

A/N: So.. we all knew Billeah's a twisted Fic writer. Comment your requests and see what her devious little mind will come up with… NOTHING IS SACRED inside her laptop!


	2. Wayward Pines

A/N - A Guest reviewer asked for Win-Dip. Leave your comments and lets see who else

* * *

Wendy sat behind the counter reading a teen magazine at the Mystery Shack. She was bored. This wasn't her normal flavor of boredom, but super mega insane boredom.

The high priced trinkets that for some reason everyone buys were clean of dust and sorted. She was that bored. The T-shirts were arranged by size, the floors swept, and the windows cleaned. She was so bored, she did her job to break the tedious nature of her day. Now she's going to be bored and lazy, her perfect combo.

She was getting into an article on Deep Chris when she saw a flash of yellow in her peripheral vision. She turned to see Billeah standing in front of her holding what looks to be a stack of papers.

Wendy looked down to her magazine and glanced back up. The stack of papers were now in front of her, and she could see Billeah was hiding inside a circular t-shirt rack.

Billeah was an odd one. She's the cousin of Mabel and Dipper. When her parents died, she moved in with them and they've been as tight as peas in a pod. The young woman was a good inch shorter than the twins and had bright blond hair that curled. Modern-Victorian fashion was her obsession, and was always seen in dresses that seem a hundred years too old. Like Dipper, she was also missing her left eye, and had a patch that matches whatever outfit she's wearing.

If there was a word to describe her, it's creepy. She gave off an air of detachment in everything she did. Most conversations with her were responded with one word answers, and she's always on her laptop. Wendy always had a feeling there was something more to this quiet cousin of Dippers, but when ever she pressed him for information, he seemed to change the subject.

"Hrm… I wonder what this could be?" Wendy said. She took the paper and read the title page. "Wayward Pines?"

"Read." Billeah said from her hiding spot. She went from bored and lazy to creeped out. Leave it to the Pines to turn a boring uneventful day into something that sends chills up her spine. Wendy shrugged and turned to the first page. She'll take whatever excitement she can get.

* * *

Dipper arced the axe overhead and split the log with a definitive chop. The heatwave was taking it's toll on Dipper's body. Sweat soaked through his shirt and dripped off the wavy brown hair that poked out from under his trademark blue Pinetree hat.

Wendy watched from inside as Dipper arced the axe and split another log. She had to admit, the tiny twelve year old she met was filling out nicely. Dipper sipped a bottle of water and let some spill on his face and down his chest.

"He's looking good, ain't he," said a squeaky voice behind her. "Choppin all that wood… flexing those manly muscles of his."

"Mabel!" Wendy said with a start. She knocked over a display of keychains and fumbled to keep other impulse items from scattering across the floor.

Mabel and Billeah were grinning ear to ear. Wendy knew when those two were in cahoots, nothing good would come of it.

"Must you two always sneak up on me?" Wendy asked.

"Yes." They said in unison.

Billeah leaned over the counter and stared at Wendy with her one good eye. It was like she was peering into her soul.

"What are your intentions with my Dipper?" She asked.

"What? What are you talking about?" Wendy chuckled.

"Phht…" Mabel chuckled. "He just took off his shirt."

Wendy glanced over and felt slightly disappointed when Dipper was still chopping wood with his shirt on. She knew her face was as red as her hair when Mabel and Billeah erupted with laughter.

"I hear mocking!" Stan said as he poked his head out of the office. "I want to mock someone too!"

"Wendy's ogling my brother as he chops wood!" Mabel said, an eruption of giggles collapsed the young woman. Mabel's face was turning purple and Billeah knelt down next to her, as if to check on her condition.

"Step away… it may be contagious" Billeah said deadpan.

"Ya know what… I'm going home." Wendy said, gathering up her things.

"You still have three hours left! I'm not paying you for them!" Stan said. Wendy shrugged it off and left.

She started down the path she walked a thousand times before. The rhythmic crunching of gravel sounded like a familiar song on the radio. The sense of lull was shattered as she heard approaching footsteps from behind her.

"Wendy!" Dipper called out. Wendy turned around to see him jogging down the path and waving to her.

"Sup?" Wendy asked. She crossed her arms and leaned to her left. She was planning on looking chill by leaning on a tree. The tree she was aiming for apparently moved, and she leaned into nothing but air. Dipper watched as she began her descent into what could possibly be the most embarrassing moment of her life.

Wendy didn't even see Dipper move, but his face was so close to hers. Sensing her peril, Dipper had lept into action and caught the falling Wendy in his strong… well defined arms.

"You ok?" He asked, his brown eyes gazed into Wendy's soul. All she could to was stammer nonsense, babble and nod. "I'm glad I caught you.

To her disappointment, Dipper moved her upright and back on her feet.

"Thanks… that could have been bad." Wendy said.

"Yeah, just glad I got to you in time. I was scared for a minute I'd fall with you, and that would be totally awkward."

"Totally." Wendy said, nodding in agreement. "So what's up?"

"Oh, yeah. I um… need your help."

"Sure! What's the big scary creepy thing we're going to go off fighting?" Wendy said. One thing she knew she loved was all the trouble they get in around here. Dipper's obsession with the paranormal has roped her in a lot of craziness that made her rethink her life. Sadly, that never stopped her from coming back for more. She needs her head checked.

"No, nothing journal related." Dipper said. "It's umm… I need your dad's help" Dipper said.

"My… Dad? You've met him right? Size of a bear, solves all his problems by punching them?"

"Well, next week is the Strongman Competition. I was going to participate, that's why I've been honing my axe wielding skills. I don't expect to win against him, just the Junior lumberjacks." Dipper said.

"Why are you going on about all this?" Wendy asked, she started walking her route and smiled to herself when Dipper stepped in stride with her.

"I've done some amazing things during my time here, and everyone still sees me as the noodly armed Dipper." he said. "I'm 15 now, I want to really show the naysayers I'm tough and can handle any challenge they throw at me."

"Dude, You freakin wrestled a bear when you were twelve!" Wendy said. "I think you've got everyone beat."

"Yeah, but no one saw it, nor do they believe me." Dipper said. "I just… want to be looked at differently, and I think participating will help."

"Well… you don't really need my dad." Wendy said. Dipper gave her a quizzical look. "You're looking at Mrs. Queen Lumberjack… three years in a row! I know the competition inside and out! I got nothing better to do this weekend, I'll help you out!"

"Oh thank you Wendy!" Dipper said. He grabbed her and spun her around.

"Ok.. put me down!" Wendy said. Dipper set her on her feet, but didn't let go of her. Their faces were inches apart and Wendy felt an almost cosmic pull to meet Dipper's lips.

* * *

"Really? A cosmic pull?" Wendy shouted. "Billeah, you know there's no such thing as Mrs. Queen Lumberjack right?"

Billeah peeked out from between the shirts, her wordless stare locked on to Wendy. Wendy sighed and looked down to find her place.

* * *

Dipper let her go, much to Wendy's disappointment. She'd never noticed, but he had a massive growth spurt and was now taller than her. Something stirred in her chest, having to look up to Dipper… not the boy, but the man.

"I… I have to go." Wendy stammered and ran off, leaving Dipper behind her.

"Don't look back… don't look back… don't look back." She repeated over and over until she got home.

After a cold shower and dinner, Wendy retreated into her room. Throwing herself on her bed, she let out a stream of curses into her pillow. When she was screamed out, her body ached all over. Exhaustion took her and sent her into one of the most vivid dreams she had ever had.

Dipper holding her, their lips meet and her entire body could feel his embrace against her.

Wendy woke up soaked in sweat and out of breath.

"What the hell is going on?" Wendy asked herself. It was three A.M. She needed to do something to take her mind of things. Wendy slinked downstairs and swept the kitchen. Her father had tracked mud inside again, so she mopped the mess up. Laundry needed to be folded, shelves needed to be organized alphabetically, she took the three ketchup bottles and dumped everything into one bottle.

"What… are you doing?" Manly Dan said. The vacuum Wendy was using just died. She looked over to see her father holding the plug. "It's four in the morning."

"I'm cleaning! This place is a mess." Wendy said.

"Since when do you care?" He asked. Wendy shrugged and took out a box of cereal. She poured herself a bowl and crunched as loud as she could. "Dipper called last night."

Wendy shrugged again and shoved more cereal into her mouth. If she kept it full, she won't have to talk.

"Said to give you a message. He'll be getting off work early so you two can do your thing." Dan said with a wide grin. "Anything I should know about?"

"Oh my god! It's nothing!" Wendy said with her mouth full. "He's just going to be competing at the lumberjack thing and I offered to help him practice some of the lumberjack challenges."

"Okay." Dan said, grinning ear to ear.

"What?" Wendy asked, shoving another mountainous bite into her mouth.

"Nothing." Dan said, his grin never lessened.

"Good." Wendy said.

"Okay." Dan said.

"Will you stop?" Wendy stammered.

"Stop what?" Dan asked,

"DOING THIS! THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON WITH ME AND DIPPER!" Wendy screamed. She gagged on a piece of cereal that flew into her throat. Dan's massive hand patted her back and she was able to get it out.

"I need to go to work," Wendy said after drinking a huge glass of OJ.

"It's four in the morning." Dan pointed out.

"I HAVE AN EARLY SHIFT!" Wendy said and stormed out of the house.

She walked the empty streets of Gravity Falls. The twilight hours cast a bluish grey over everything. She had no direction in destination or life. All she wanted to do was chill and have fun. As Wendy turned a corner, a sudden impact knocked her on the ground, leaving her dazed.

"What the hell?" Wendy cried out.

"My new phone!" Pacifica lamented. Wendy saw Pacifica on her haunches staring at a shattered phone. "What the hell?"

"Oh, Pacifica… sorry!" Wendy said, helping her friend up. "Why are you out here so early?"

"I run every morning." She said. "I'm on the track team at school, I need to make sure I can outrun all the plebeians."

"Sorry about your phone." Wendy said. Pacifica sighed and put it in her pocket.

"So… I hear you're taking Dipper under your wing?" Pacifica said.

"Oh my god," Wendy lamented. "Why does everyone know?"

"Dipper told Mabel, who told Billeah, who texted Tambre who posted it on Tumblr. Pretty much you can't sneeze without it coming back at you around here." Pacifica said.

She brushed off the dirt from her purple Jogging shorts and adjusted her top. She undid her ponytail and shook out her hair. Wendy hated her hair. Her carefully styled golden locks that taunted perfection. Wendy hated her own hair. The red straw that frizzes in the humidity. The ugly hair she tries to hide under her furry hat. The hair that no matter how often she ride the braid train, it comes alive and eats Billeah's favorite brush… sucking it into the vacuum void, forever lost.

* * *

"Billeah!" Wendy shouted. "What the hell is so bad about my hair?"

"You broke my brush…" she said from her fort of shirts.

"I bought you a new one!" Wendy countered.

"You… broke… my… brush." Billeah said. Wendy let out a huff and returned to the story.

* * *

Pacifica continued her jog, leaving Wendy alone with her thoughts. She knew her friend had feelings for her Dipper.

Wendy stopped mid stride. Her Dipper? Why was she spiraling into this realm of insanity! She needed to get this out of her system and fast. Wendy stormed off and headed to the graveyard.

She felt relief hearing the off key music playing from behind a headstone.

Robbie liked to come here in the morning and play for the dead people, it was part of his charm.

"Oh, hey Wendy. Shouldn't you be out helping Dipper man up?" He said with that annoying laugh. "I'd go into that contest and beat the snot outta him but I don't want to hurt his poor ego."

"Robbie, stand up." Wendy said.

"What? Why?" Robbie asked, giving her a suspicious look.

"Just do it!" Wendy snapped.

"You're not gonna like, kick me in the balls are you?" Robbie asked, He stood up, but turned his hip to her incase a stray foot came flying at his jewels.

Wendy jumped on him and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. Robbie had to sit on a headstone to keep from falling over, but he caught her. His hands planted squarely on her butt, Wendy coiled her legs around him like a constrictor.

After a few minutes she let him go and untangled herself.

"Damnit." She said.

"What? I.. I'm confused." Robbie said, clearly not seeing straight and standing funny. "Are we dating again?"

"No." Wendy said and sat down. "Just thought I'd try something. It didn't work."

"Well… you can do it again… as many times as you want. I don't care! Want me to take my shirt off?" Robbie asked. He already had his hoodie off and was stripping off his t-shirt.

"Put your cloths back on!" Wendy said. "Maybe Lee?… or eww not Thompson. Hrm… Tambry? We haven't played that game since middle school."

"What are you talking about?" Robbie asked. Wendy looked up to see him shirtless and flexing. He was skin and bones compared to the formed muscle of Dipper. If they ever really got into a fight, Dipper would wipe the floor with him. Her mind wandered to Dipper's arms wrapped around her, holding her against him.

"Damnit Robbie! You're not helping! I'm outta here…" Wendy said and stormed off.

As she was walking back to town, her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket to see a text.

T _ambry - Did you just drive by Robbie?_

 _Wendy - Yeah… kinda._

 _Tambry - That's mean. I know we broke up, but way to really screw with his head._

 _Wendy - It's not like that… I have… something stuck in my head and I'm trying to get it out. I thought Robbie would put it on straight._

 _Tambry - Is this about that sleepover during middle school?_

 _Wendy - What? No! We said we'd never speak of it again. Why would you bring that up?_

 _Tambry - Oh… nevermind._

 _Wendy - What?_

 _Tambry - Nothing… what's going on?_

 _Wendy - You have to Blog Promise me. I have your passwords and I with destroy you if you say a word._

 _Tambry - Blogs' promise_

 _Wendy - I can't stop thinking about DIpper._

 _Tambry - …_

 _Wendy - Hello? I swear to god they will not find your body… Delete whatever you just wrote!_

 _Tambry - Already did… three times. Damn promises. I see why you did a drive by on Robbie._

 _Wendy - I don't feel bad… should I feel bad?_

 _Tambry - For Robbie? Nah, leave him wondering._

 _Wendy - Yeah… feel bad for Robbie._

 _Tambry - You meant Dipper didn't you…_

 _Wendy - What? NO that's crazy talk! I don't feel guilty for trying to get him out of my head by randomly attacking an ex boyfriend. Only crazy girls do that!_

 _Tambry - So go for it._

 _Wendy - What?_

 _Tambry - Why not? He's 15.. you're 17… it's not like he's 12 years old anymore. Believe me, the thought's crossed my mind a few times… more than a few times. Like… a lot._

 _Wendy - Don't you dare!_

 _Tambry - Hey, he's eligible and you're not making a move._

 _Wendy - Traitor!_

 _Tambry - I have a car… who do you think will be at the shack first?_

Wendy broke out into a full speed run to the Mystery Shack. She had to get there before Tambry. The sun was peeking out from behind the mountains and bathing the town in it's majestic orange and reds.

What was she going to say? What was she going to do? She knows he had a thing for her for years, but… does he still? Does she really have a thing for him? Why does he have to be so cute? What if this is just teenager angst and she breaks his heart? What if he breaks hers? Why did she never work more in PE and have to stop to catch her breath?

Wendy completed the final stretch up the Mystery Shack driveway. She collapsed on the porch and rolled over on her back to catch her breath. She lolled her head around to look for Tambry's car. Her phone chirped.

 _She fished it out of her pants and opened her text messages._

 _Tambry - Record time! HAHA!_

 _Wendy - You bitch… you lied?_

 _Tambry - Yeah...sorry, you wouldn't have gotten off your ass to do something otherwise._

 _Wendy - How'd you know I was here?_

 _Tambry - I texted Billeah and she told me when you showed up. Even with IM's she's very… quiet._

 _Wendy - She just thinks a lot and only says what's needed. You get used to it…. I hate you by the way._

 _Tambry - Love ya too!_

Wendy put the phone back in her pocket and closed her eyes. Her lungs were on fire and her heart was racing a thousand miles a minute. She listened to the sounds of early morning. The birds chirping awake, the winds blowing through the trees, the sharp pain of something smacking her in the head.

"OWW!" Wendy screamed. The screen door had struck her prone head, leaving a red triangle shape welt on her forehead.

"Oh, you're here early." Dipper said, and helped her up.

"Oh yeah.. you know me… always… on time…" Wendy said. Dipper was wearing pajama pants. Only pajama pants. He had a towel draped over his shoulder, and looked like he was ready to go take a shower. He knelt down to pick up the newspaper, Wendy's eyes locked on to the peep hole that was not buttoned as he bend down.

The scars that she tenderly tended after his accident only gave him a more rugged look. He's always wearing that eye-patch, which only adds to that hot dangerous look. He even seemed to have stubble on his chin now. If he let that grow out and only wear that blue vest of his, he'd almost look like a pirate… a lumberjack pirate. Get him a red sash to put around some black tight pants.

"Wendy?" Dipper said.

"Huh? What? Pirates?" Dipper's interruption snapped her out of her stupor.

"Pirates?" Dipper asked with a confused look.

"Coffee?" Wendy asked. Dipper let her inside and poured her a cup. Wendy banged her head on the table and took the cup.

"So… Pirates?" Dipper pressed.

"Yeah… Pirates." Wendy grasped at straws. "I... was thinking, it's a good theme for you. Part of the lumberjack challenges is to stand out to the judges. We get you some black pants, a red sash, you got the eyepatch already."

What was she doing? He was going to think it was a stupid idea!

"That… sounds kinda cool. Can you teach me some cool axe juggling?" Dipper said.

"Sure! I know a few tricks with the old double bladed axe." Wendy said.

"Aright! I'm going to go take my shower. Thanks again for the help!" Dipper said. He got up and started to leave. He paused, as if he forgot something, came back and gave Wendy a hug. "Thank's again."

Dipper headed upstairs. Wendy heard the shower turn on and the drumming of cascading water feet above her head. It did not play well with her imagination.

"I must axe you a question." Mabel said from behind. Wendy about fell out of her chair.

"What?" Wendy said, holding her chest. Her heart can't take much more of this!

"What… Mrs. Corduroy… are your intentions with my brother?" She said in her Boss Mabel voice. She sat down across from her with a cup of coffee and poured twelve packets of sugar into it.

"What are you talking about?" Wendy asked with a nervous laugh. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mmmmhmmm." Mabel said, taking a sip of her coffee. "I'm watching you."

Mabel slid off the chair and backed away into the hall, with her eyes locked on Wendy.

"Watching… you" She said just as she moved up the hall.

"Dipper needed your help with something in his room." Billeah said from behind Wendy. She spilled the hot coffee all over her.

"Oh my god!" Wendy jumped, spilling her coffee on her shirt. "Do you guys ever make any noise?!" She grabbed a towel and matted down the scalding liquid.

"No." Billeah said. She was wearing a yellow long nightgown and holding one of her porcelain dolls. She went back upstairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Wendy followed the familiar steps to the attic. The shower was still going, so Dipper must still be in there. She softly knocked and entered.

"Hey, Billeah said you needed me to…." Wendy shouted back to the closed bathroom door and froze.

"Mabel… i'm not," Dipper said.

Too late.

Wendy stared open mouthed at of an unbashful Dipper in all his glory. As he stood in front of the attic window, the morning sun raining down upon him. The contrasting light and shadow outlined every detail and muscle ridge of his hardened body.

She was frozen. Dipper looked to be a deer in headlights. The sounds of giggling erupting from the bathroom snapped them both out of their frozen state.

"MABEL! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Dipper screamed as he wrapped a towel around himself. Mabel and Billeah tumbled out of the bathroom, ran downstairs and locked themselves in Stan's office. Wendy covered her eyes with both hands and curled up in a ball against the wall.

"I'm sorry that happened." Dipper said. "I'm so… so sorry!"

"Nooo… it's okay," Wendy said from under her hands. She banged the back of her head against the wall, trying to knock the image out. The image of his natural form caressed by the morning sun is going to keep her up every night for the foreseeable future. "Can you do me a favor and be a real ass to me? Please?"

"Here.." Dipper said. She felt something fall over her head. She picked it up to find it was a Mystery Shack T-shirt. "You… got coffee spilled all over you. get out of that and I'll get it washed before it stains. I need to do a load of laundry anyway."

Wendy stood up and took a steadying breath.

"Dipper…" She said. As soon as he turned to look at her she pulled off her shirt, and acted nonchalant as she changed into the Mystery shack shirt.

"Uhhhh." Dipper stammered. Wendy's grinned dropped when she realized she forgot to put a bra on this morning. She hugged her chest and turned away from him.

"W….we're even." She stammered.

"Not… that I don't appreciate it, but what's going on with you. You've been acting really weird." Dipper said.

"Well… it's your fault." She yelled. "You're all nice, and caring and considerate and not… jerky! Things were fine! Then you… get all tall and really… cute."

"You… think I'm cute?" Dipper asked. Wendy saw he had put on some black pants, but still not wearing a shirt.

"Could you please put a shirt on.. it's distracting." Wendy said. Dipper nodded and obliged.

"Why do you want me to be a jerk to you?" Dipper asked. "You're one of my best friends, I could never hurt you like that."

"Please? It would really help. Just blow me off, or call me names or something." Wendy said. "The last twenty four hours have been hell. I'm tired, I'm hungry, there's nothing left to clean at my house."

"Can you sit with me and talk?" Dipper asked.

"Talk? Talk? There's not talking about this!" Wendy said. Her mind was everywhere and she couldn't focus She turned her back to Dipper and did everything she could to hold her tears back. Please don't come over here. Oh god. I can hear him coming closer. I don't know what i'll do. I know what I'll do and there's no turning back. Please… please... please...

Wendy felt Dipper's arms wrap around her from behind. Without thinking, she interlocked his fingers with hers and pulled him closer.

"I'm here for whatever you need, if something happened, you can talk to me." Dipper whispered.

"I… I can't." Wendy whimpered. Her knees were jelly, her stomach filled with butterflies. Dipper's chin was on her shoulder, and he was rocking her back and forth. His breath was hot, setting her skin on fire.

Don't turn me around...

Dipper pulled back and spun her around. Tears were streaming down her cheeks with so signs of stopping. He turned her into a blubbering idiot. Dipper pulled her chin up to look him in the eye. His brown eyes gazed into her, and she felt safe. Dipper sheltered her like the tree he's named after.

"I… I think… I'm in love with you." Wendy whispered. Dipper leaned in and kissed her. His soft lips set her on fire. All her fear and anxiety washed away with his embrace. He pulled away just once and whispered into her ear.

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Wendy?" Dipper said poking his head into the Shack.

"What?" Wendy jumped shoving the stack of paper under the desk. Dipper was giving her a weird look.

"You looked a little spaced out." Dipper said, Wendy just gave him a shrug. "I wanted to know if I can borrow your axe in your truck, I can't find the one at the Shack."

"Oh.. yeah… why?" Wendy asked as she tossed him her keys.

"Just wanted to get some practice in for next week." Dipper chuckled. "I wanted to try and throw my hat in at the lumberjack games. Figured it's time to really test my mettle."

"Uh huh… ok." Wendy said.

"Oh, think you can give me some pointers? I know you've been around the games all your life, I don't want to make an idiot of myself." Dipper asked.

"Yeah… pointers." Wendy said looking over to the shirt rack. "Maybe later?"

"Cool! Thanks Wendy!" Dipper said and left. She turned back around and Billeah was standing at the counter.

"AH!" Wendy screamed. She held out her hand, and grinned. Wendy pulled out the paper and handed it back.

"You've been shipped." She said and walked away.


	3. Bikini Beach Brawl

A/N: This story was requested by PFDroids5198! "Cool can the next one be about Pacifica and Wendy fighting over Dipper! Love the story your awesome!"

Comment and request the next fan fiction! Remember, Billeah sees all and any pairing/situation is never beyond her imagination!

* * *

Dipper looked out the window and stared at the fields of grapes. He'd gone on trips with Pacifica before, but never driving to Cannon Beach in her limo. You'd think it would be fun, but after an hour, it gets stuffy and you want to stretch your legs.

"Wow… that's a lot of grapes!" Mabel said. "Hey! Think we can stop by one of these places and squish them with our feet? That would be AWESOME!"

"I got huge feet, great for squishing!" Grenda said, and shoved her foot into the air. Grenda, Candy, Mabel took up the back seat of the limo. Dipper was stretched out on the left side, reading a book, while Wendy and Pacifica sat across from him.

"I'm sure we can arrange something, but since we are underage, they often frown on children making vino." Pacifica said. She seemed bored and examined her nails.

"It's wine… can't you just use the word like a normal person?" Wendy retorted, she flipped the pages of some teen magazine and looked equally as bored.

"Vino… Wine comes in a box." Pacifica replied.

Dipper was staying out of it and continued to read his book on Business Management.

"Billeah… you're so quiet… what are you working on." Pacifica asked. His cousin was engulfed in her laptop, fingers dancing a jitterbug across the keyboard. Once, he tested her words per minute, and was astounded that she clocked in at 140 with 0 errors. Dipper's stomach got queasy watching a smile creep across her face.

"NO!" Mabel, Dipper and Wendy shouted in unison.

"Bikini Beach Brawl… but it's not done yet."

"What's that?" Grenda asked.

"A story…" Billeah replied, her fingers flying across the keyboard.

"Dipper…" Pacifica said with a sweet smile that chilled Dipper to the core. "Why did you three protest rather quickly to our line of questioning?"

"Ah...hahaha." Dipper said nervously and hid behind the book to shield himself from her gaze.

"She writes some weird stuff about us is all." Mabel said shamelessly. "I mean wow… the imagery and emotions she will coax out of you with her vernacular is worthy of many awards."

"Mabel!" Dipper said through his teeth. "Shut… up!"

"What's the story about?" Pacifica pressed, Dipper's apparent distaste for the subject seemed to have piqued her interest.

"Here we go…" Wendy said, rolling her eyes and going back to the magazine.

"We're going to the beach… so I wrote a beach story." Billeah said.

"Well, read us what you got. We have an hour or two till we get there." Candy asked.

Billeah pulled the computer to cover her face and shook her head no.

"She doesn't like to read out loud." Mabel said.

"Fine, I'll do it." Pacifica said as she leaned over and pulled the laptop out of Billeah's protesting hands and turned it towards her.

"Please don't." Dipper groaned.

"Afraid of revisiting Tiki Island?" Mabel giggled and kicked her brother's foot.

"You had to bring that up didn't you?" Dipper said and retreated into his book.

"Of course… Tiki king!" Mabel said.

"Billeah… when did you start this?" Pacifica asked as she flipped through the document..

"When we got in the car." She said.

"Wow… you type fast… Ahem… okay, the story is called Bikini Beach Brawl… by Billeah Pines.

"Think I can survive jumping out at 60 miles an hour?" Dipper asked.

* * *

"It's the ocean!" Mabel cried out. She ran back to grab Billeah and giggled together as they ran ahead of the group. Pacifica, Wendy, Grenda, Candy and Dipper followed along.

Pacifica motioned forward and an army of servants exploded from the trunk and rushed forward two by two and quarantined a half mile stretch of beach with red velvet ropes. Dozens of bouncers with clip boards, sunglasses, and ear walkie talkies took position and stoically guarded their spot. German Shepherds patrolled the rope line and attacked anyone who came near and buried their remains.

"It's always a private party when I show up." Pacifica said, winking at Dipper.

* * *

"Really?!" Pacifica said, looking mortified. Everyone erupted in in a fit of giggles. Dipper allowed himself a grin.

"Go on… keep reading." Mabel prodded.

"May as well rip the band-aid off… that's what I had to do." Wendy said. Billeah was reaching for her laptop so Pacifica moved next to Dipper and used him to shield herself from Billeah's grasp. She laid across him, and propped the laptop up against him as she continued to read.

* * *

Pacifica stood on a velvet and gold footstool and directed the massive army of servants like a general. Her perfectly combed hair blew in the salty wind. She slid a strand behind her ear as she ordered her troops. The buffet was in place, the hot-tub was filled up, the Karaoke stage set up and the carnival finished putting up its Ferris wheel.

"Wow… you outdid yourself" Dipper said as he walked up next to her. He had his beach gear bundled under his arms.

"Anything for my Dippy!" Pacifica cooed, looking down at his curly brown hair and piercing brown eyes.

"I'm gonna carb load because I need to keep fit for chopping down trees." Wendy said and rushed to the buffet. She had already filled up a plate with pizza and was halfway done with a piece. "The Lumberjack Queen needs to keep her title!"

* * *

Everyone in the Limo erupted in laughter.

"Great… whatever…" Wendy mumbled and hid behind her magazine. Pacifica wiped away a tear and took a breath. She found her place and went back to reading.

* * *

Everyone ran to the beach and claimed their spot. There was a flurry of activity as beach blankets unfurled, coolers opened and beach balls inflated. Dipper put up a large umbrella, set down his blanket and nodded in approval.

"This looks like a good spot." Dipper said.

"Ahem," said a tiny, yet perfect voice behind him. Dipper looked up to see his most favorite cousin, Billeah. She was in a yellow two piece that was modest but sexy. Her delicate, soft and milky white skin exposed to the ravages of the sun. Dipper's mind fumbled with words at the sheer beauty that was presented before him. Billeah coyly looked away, but relished Dipper's hungry gaze. "I… hope you like it."

"You look good, Billeah," Dipper said. He fumbled his book and it fell into the sand… forgotten.

"I… need help." She said and handed him her sunblock. Dipper moved to allow Billeah to lie down on his towel. He filled his hand with sunblock and worked from her ankles up her legs. His strong hands worked the sunblock into her skin. Billeah stifled a squeak when his cold hands touched the small of her back and worked their way up her lithe figure and massaged her shoulders.

Billeah's racing mind quieted to his touch. His nimble fingers worked out the knots in her shoulders and slid gently down her arms. Occasionally he would use his nails to rake across her delicate skin and send waves of cascading pleasure through her body. Time lost all meaning as he continued his valiant efforts to complete this simple act of kindness.

"All done," Dipper said, closing the bottle.

Billeah couldn't move, her mouth was opened and she could feel herself drool out the side of her mouth.

"All done!" Dipper repeated. She will not go. She will never leave!

"I think you killed her." Pacifica said, prodding Billeah's limp body with her foot. "It's my turn anyway."

Pacifica wore a flattering purple one piece with a plunge neckline that emphasized her completely natural assets. Billeah respected the new arrival's tactics but would never relinquish her spot willingly to such a shameless display.

To her horror she was being moved by her traitorous cousin, Mabel

"Nooooo!" she protested as Mabel rolled her over and helped her up. Billeah longingly looked back to Dipper as Pacifica sat in front of him and moved her long and perfect hair aside, allowing him access to her shoulders and back.

"Oh my god… I'm in heaven." Pacifica said with slur after only a few minutes of Dipper's strong hands applying her sunscreen. Dipper looked up and saw a line forming next to his beach towel. The rest of the girls were eagerly waiting to have him help with their sunblock.

No one survived.

Dipper left everyone a drooling pile of ecstasy with his sunblock rubbing powers. Dipper looked over his handiwork and stepped over the paralyzed bodies of his friends, picked up his book and sat down to continue where he left off.

After everyone's impromptu nap around Dipper, Wendy was the first to wake up. Only because of her lumberjack training did she have the recovery stamina to pull herself out of the ocean of endorphins that cascades over the inebriated group.

"Hey, Dip." She said with a yawn. "Wow… what a nap."

Dipper grunted as a response. His mind absorbing the knowledge in his hands. Wendy rolled to her side and pulled the book down. Dipper was able to gaze upon the slinky green bikini that matched her emerald eyes. Her freckled mischievous grin forced a matching one out of Dipper's stony gaze. Wendy was playing with her hair, put her finger to her lips and nodded her head to the beach. Dipper shrugged and eased himself up, following her to the shore.

"What's up?" Dipper said. Wendy glanced down at his shorts and raised an eyebrow. Dipper's face drained of color and looked down as well, only to breathe a sigh of relief. Wendy erupted in laughter and mussed his hair.

"Made you look… something I should be worried about?" Wendy chucked.

"I… um… well… no?" Dipper stammered.

"Oh…" Wendy said with slight disappointment.

They walked next to each other for some time, letting the water wash over their feet and talking about nothing in particular. Wendy spun around and elaborated a funny anecdote while flailing her arms and lost her balance. Dipper rushed forward and caught her hand, preventing her from tumbling into the sand.

"Thanks…" She said, Wendy bent her head forward to allow her hair to hide her blushing face. Dipper shrugged and they kept walking.

He never let go of her hand.

As they reached the velvet rope, they turned around and headed back to the main camp. Hours of conversation silently passed between the two of them, just stolen glances and smiles. The space between them slowly closed with each step until the back of their hands brushed against each other's thigh and their shoulders occasionally collided.

The sounds of laughter and splashing could be heard up ahead. Wendy let go of Dipper's hand and ran ahead to meet up with everyone and join in the fun and games.

"Where'd you two run off to?" Pacifica said from behind Dipper. The young man jumped out of his skin and turned to meet the accusing eyes of his host.

"Wendy and I just took a walk. Everyone was napping and I needed to stretch my legs." He said.

"I see… in that case, my legs need stretching as well." She said with an air of superiority. Pacifica flipped her golden locks and thrust out her hand. Dipper tentatively took it, always surprised how soft and frail it felt, not like Wendy's strong grip.

"So… where to?" Dipper asked. Pacifica looked around the beach, weighing her options. Her gaze rested on an outcropping of rocks that lay just outside the red velvet rope. She double checked to ensure everyone was occupied and dragged Dipper behind her as they ran full speed to the secluded area.

To both of their surprise, they found a cave.

"Um… Pacifica, we should probably head back…" Dipper said, looking down the beach to the group.

"No. I want to explore. This is what you do with me all the time right? Drag me around to dark dank places and get us in trouble?" Pacifica said.

"Not intentionally!" Dipper protested. Pacifica refused to listen and pulled Dipper into the unexplored cavern.

Dipper's breath was taken away by the hidden grotto. The tide was out, and left a pool of crystal water that lead into a deep underwater cavern. The weathered cavern was illuminated by cracks in the dome, beams of sunlight cascaded down giving everything a warm glow.

Pacifica pulled Dipper into the tide pool and swam to the center.

"I didn't think we'd find a place like this." Pacifica said in amazement. Dipper's breath was taken away by the sight of his friend. The light cascading around her made her look like a watery spirit, one he would welcome with open arms as she pulled him down into the depths of the sea.

"Beautiful…" Dipper said more to himself. Pacifica looked at him with a sly grin and pulled him closer.

"Me… or the cave?" She whispered. Dipper stammered slightly and swam to the shore's edge. Pacifica followed and laid next to him on the water's edge.

"Thanks for taking us." Dipper said. He stretched himself out and put his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds around him. The waves against the rocks, the lapping of the water around his feet, the drips from stalactites echoing inside the hidden cavern.

"You're welcome" Pacifica whispered in his ear. Dipper's felt something warm press against his lips. He opened his eyes slightly to see Pacifica pulling away and giving him a smile. Dipper kept his cool and lack of reaction told her it was okay. She moved on top of him and kissed him again, Dipper wrapped his arms around her as she pressed her body against him; they explored each other's lips and tongues with vigor.

Pacifica moved Dipper's hand from the small of her back to her firm butt. She let out a muffled moan as he squeezed and noticed the swimsuit was bunched around her hips. She sat up and shyly looked away. She had pulled the top half of her swimsuit down, and gave Dipper full view of her bare chest.

"I… I hope you like it." She said, grabbing his hands and moving them up. Dipper's body responded accordingly, and the shy grin turned mischievous as she noticed. Leaning back down, she kissed him more, allowing his hands to wander while she did the same with hers.

"Pa… Pacifica" Dipper could barely speak as she breathed hot air on his neck and ear, taking little bites and sending wave after wave of ecstasy through him.

"This is getting you back for that massage…" She whispered, and took another bite.

"GET OFF HIM!" screamed Wendy from the mouth of the cave. Pacifica sat up and quickly pulled her swimsuit back up to cover herself. Dipper looked over and was mortified to see Wendy, Mabel, Billeah, Candy and Grenda at the cave entrance. All had a slack jaws and were beyond speechless at the scene they just witnessed.

Dipper wanted to be anywhere but there.

Dipper was lying on his beach towel next to Mabel and Billeah. They watched as Wendy and Pacifica screamed at each other and seemed to be ready to come to blows. Candy looked over at Dipper dejectedly and when he tried to smile at her, she turned her head away with an upturned nose and an audible 'humph'

"You know… you should really try and break those two up." Mabel said. Billeah had a bowl of popcorn and seemed to enjoy watching the chaos before her. Occasionally she would punch Dipper in the elbow… 'just because'.

"I think I'll be torn to shreds if that happened." Dipper said, and hid behind his book.

"Fine!" Wendy screamed.

"Fine!" Pacifica retorted.

They both stormed up to Dipper who tried to hide even more behind his makeshift shield.

"Dipper… Tell the Lumberjack Queen here what the deal between us is." Pacifica snapped.

"Tell her that you were only taken by surprise by such a cheap _trick_!" Wendy shouted back.

"Yes… tell them." Billeah said, she stared at Dipper without blinking, sending chills up his spine.

"Well… I" Dipper said before he was interrupted.

"Oh, of course he's going to try and be nice about it!" Wendy screamed, "He's Dipper and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings!"

"Well fine!" Pacifica shouted back. "We'll fight for it!"

"I… uhhh…" Dipper said.

"Fine! Whoever wins gets Dipper!" Wendy shouted.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Wendy reeled back and punched Pacifica in the jaw. Pacifica fell to the sand momentarily knocked out. Wendy's rage subsided and she rushed to check on her friend.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Wendy asked, sitting her up.

"What the hell?!" Pacifica shrieked holding her cheek. "What kind of barbarian do you think I am? I meant a contest not a fist fight!"

Dipper was relieved to see Pacifica was all right. He quietly put his book away and inched away from the commotion. When he was out of everyone's field of view, he stood up and ran. If he made it to the Limo, he could lock himself in until the heat was off him.

"He's making a run for it!" Billeah shouted. Dipper let out a yelp as something entangled his leg. He stared helplessly as the sand came up to his face. He rolled over to find a bolo was wrapped around his ankles. He was being dragged back to the beach by Candy and Grenda. Candy apparently had some ninja training.

Within moments, Dipper was tied up and sitting on the red velvet stool Pacifica had ordered her army of servants to set up the beach. He had a crown on his head and a sign draped over him that said "Grand Prize". Next to him was a voucher for a 7 day cruise for two. Second prize was a scrapbook made by Mabel marked 'Dipper's Candid Photos'.

All of this took place on the main stage of the carnival Pacifica has set up earlier.

Mabel stood before her brother with a microphone and a spotlight on her.

"Ladies… today we are going to settle the Dipper love dispute once and for all. Our contestants will compete in various challenges to win the grand prize of Dipper and a seven day cruise to go on with him. Second place will get a Dipper scrapbook that contains a number of candid photos including a few in various states of undress…"

"Mabel! When did you take those?" Dipper shouted.

"Oh, isn't he cute… you know when!" She said. "Our contestants are Wendy and Pacifica! and Candy… and Billeah?"

Mabel looked at her cousin and shrugged.

"Well, all right." She said. "This will be interesting."

Mabel pushed a dry erase board to the center of the stage and listed everyone's name.

"Grenda… you sure you don't want to get in on this?" Mabel asked.

"Nah… Marcus and I are in a good place right now… I'll just watch the humiliation!" Grenda said.

"That's... that's really good. I'm proud of you two… always knew it would work out." Mabel said. "Unlike this guy here… can't do anything right. Ya know what I mean? I mean come on! JUST pick someone already… sheesh."

"Now… as the perfect sibling, I know everything about him and declare myself the perfect judge for match making, being an expert myself, I do say so myself." Mabel said. "We shall have 3 contests… first place gets 5 points, second place 4, third place 3, and so on… whoever has the most points win, and in the event of a tie, we'll have a lightning round."

 **Round 1**

"Ok… first things first… Dipper is a guy, and guys need to eat. Even at his age he has noodly arms from malnutrition. I want each of you to make the best dish and I'll force feed it to him. Being his perfect sister, I'll be able to tell if he likes it or not even if he lies." Mabel said. "We're going to Iron Chef this… so you all got thirty minutes!"

Everyone donned their aprons and chef hats and rushed to the buffet pantry to gather supplies. Mabel sat next to Dipper and drank a juice box while watching the resulting chaos.

"You're having way too much fun with this…" Dipper said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Mabel chuckled and held the straw to Dipper's mouth. "Who do you think will win?"

"I don't know… I'd like to be untied right now." Dipper said.

"Oh, you know prizes don't get things like being untied… now seriously, I'd love to hear your commentary." Mabel said and put the microphone to his face.

"Umm… Billeah's cooking station is on fire… you seriously let her get near an open flame without supervision?" Dipper said.

"I dunno, I thought she'd just make a PB and J." Mabel shrugged. "It's okay, Pacifica just doused her with a fire extinguisher… and now she's crying and Pacifica's giving her a hug. What a good sport."

"Does she expect me to eat all that?" Dipper nodded to Wendy's station.

"What? She's used to feeding four men… I think a short stack to her is twenty pancakes and three pounds of bacon."

Dipper was unsure of what Candy was making, but he was looking forward to it. Candy was the most experienced of the girls in the kitchen and he had the pleasure of enjoying dishes she made for everyone when she visited Mabel.

"Five minutes remaining!" Mabel bellowed. Everyone was plating their food. Billeah, curled up in the corner covered in foam, had apparently dropped out of this competition.

Mabel blew a whistle, ending the competition. Everyone, minus Billeah, gathered in front of the tied up Dipper and presented their plate. Pacifica made blueberry crepes. Dipper sampled her dish and moaned in delight. The crepes were fluffy and light, not too much powdered sugar and just enough fruit to balance it out. Mabel took a bite and nodded in agreement.

"That's really good!" She said and, to Dipper's disappointment, and wolfed down the rest of the plate.

Wendy presented her 'short stack' and to Dipper's surprise, rather enjoyed it. He could taste crunches of bacon inside the pancakes. They had a swirl of maple jam through them and looked like spiral galaxies, with bacon flecks as stars.

Candy presented an ornately designed bento box. The rice was formed into a heart shaped ball with red bean paste in the center. It was a traditional school bento with California rolls, octopus cut hotdogs and vegetables. Mabel and Dipper finished the bento with zeal.

"Wow… Ok! So, we know ya'll can cook…except for Billeah. You failed. You should be ashamed of yourself." Mabel said. Billeah calmly cleaned herself up… and was surely plotting revenge.

Mabel paced in front of the three contenders. She mumbled to herself and walked to the dry erase board.

"First place is Pacifica… not only did she make awesome crepes, but she did make sure my cousin didn't catch on fire, so that's bonus points." Mabel said. "Wendy is second and Candy is third… leaving Billeah last."

 ** _Round 2_**

 **Score:  
Billeah – 1  
Candy – 3  
** **Pacifica – 5  
** **Wendy – 4**

Dipper fidgeted with his ropes, hoping to work his way out of them. Mabel was grinning like a Cheshire cat and patted his shoulder.

"I got your back Dippingsauce." She chuckled and turned her attentions back to the girls. "Alright ladies… you cooked for him. Let's turn up the heat!"

"We all know my brother loves the strange and unusual… and your task is to go out and hunt for something strange and unusual! The more dangerous the more points! You have thirty minutes!" Mabel said with a squeal.

The four girls ran in different directions, leaving Dipper alone with his sister. Grenda wandered back to the buffet and was helping herself to an afternoon snack.

"Mabes, can ya untie me now?" Dipper asked. "My arms are sore."

"Will you be trying to escape your fate?" Mabel said with a grin.

"I can promise not not to not try and not not escape!" Dipper said sheepishly.

"Hey… so who do you want to win?" Mabel whispered. "I got an in with the judge."

"I want to be untied and run away, this whole thing is insane." Dipper struggled with his ropes.

"Phsha… just roll with it. You have four hot girls fighting over you… literally! Why can't you be happy with my prowess as a match maker?"

Dipper sighed and relented to his sister's wishes, remaining her hostage. Slowly the girls arrived on stage. Mable spun Dipper's chair around, turning his back to the empty audience.

"Alright… let's see what we got!"

Candy stepped forward and handed Mabel a sea shell. She held it up to inspect it and shrugged.

"A talking fish gave this to me and said it will make me a faster swimmer." Candy said with a smile.

"Okay, that's really cool!" Mabel said and handed it back. Pacifica stepped forward with a grin and wheeled out a cage with a sheet over it.

"I found this off the coast nearby… I lost three or four staff getting it, but I think this will land me a win." She said.

With a flourish, she pulled off the cover and revealed a fish woman in a tank. It swam around and locked eyes on Dipper. It opened its mouth and sang a haunting melody.

"Let me go! I must go to it!" Dipper yelled. He struggled against the ropes while Mabel held him down. Pacifica quickly threw the cover over it and pushed it off stage.

"You… brought a siren in front of me?" Dipper said out of breath as his mental functions resumed.

"At least something got him revved up… am I right?" Wendy said with a chuckle. Billeah gave her a high five.

"Alright Wendy… what'cha got?" Mabel said with a grin

"Well… I found this really creepy skull in that cave Pacifica was molesting him in. It has horns!" Wendy said and gave it to Mabel.

"Hrm… interesting! Your thoughts, my dear brother?"

"Well… it's not a fossil, I'd say about a hundred or so years old... the horns don't look to be tumorous growths. The teeth resemble humanoid and would stand probably four feet tall? I'd love to see if we can find the rest of the skeleton later…" Dipper said with fascination.

"Oh… I'll take you back there later." Wendy said smoothly. Pacifica punched her in the arm.

"Like hell you will!" Pacifica retorted as Wendy rubbed her shoulder.

"My turn." Billeah said. She sat down a small clump of seaweed in the center of the stage and poured water on it. "It grows…"

Dipper leaned forward and sure enough the small clump of seaweed grew from the size of a marble to the size of a beach ball. One eye poked out and looked at everyone and it squawked. Six noodly appendages flailed about helplessly and it tried to roll about.

"That's rather cute!" Mabel said.

"I can make it bigger." Billeah said

"Billeah, I don't think that's a good…" Dipper said, before he could finish, Billeah dumped a bucket of water on it. It grew from beach ball size to the size of a mini-van. The once noodly appendages were now the thickness of an arm, and seemed to multiply to an uncountable number.

Dipper watched helplessly as the flailing arms grabbed everyone on stage and lifted them up, binding their hands and feet. No amount of screaming protests could stop the monstrous beast Billeah unleashed upon them.

"HELP!" Mable screamed as she was lifted up.

"Get your tentacles off them you creep!" Dipper shouted and feverishly worked the ropes to get free. Stray tentacles wrapped around the girls, pulling and tugging at them. It seemed like it couldn't decide who to eat first.

"HEY! Watch where you're grabbing!" Wendy bellowed. One of the tendrils crawled under her bikini top and pulled it away. Wendy yanked her arm free and was able to cover herself in time. Dipper rocked his chair back and tumbled head first off the stage. He rolled to the side and landed on the chair, shattering the wood to pieces.

Dipper worked himself out of the ropes and crawled up on stage. The creature managed to strip all the girls in the time it took to get himself out of the rope.

"Don't look!" Mabel screamed. Dipper covered his eyes and ran back stage. He had an idea that might work. He saw the Siren and wheeled it out, covering his ears, he yanked the cover off and pointed it to the monster.

The siren called out to the creature. The wandering tendrils slowed to a lull as the one eye focused on the trapped siren. It slowly dropped the girls and pulled itself to the trapped fish girl. The tendrils coiled around the cage and broke it, grabbing the siren.

To everyone's relief the Siren and the seaweed monster made their way to the shores and retreated back to the watery depths.

"Well… good riddance." Dipper said and turned around. Before anything could register, a projectile shoe connected to his face, knocking him back down the stairs of the stage.

 ** _Round 3_**

 **Score:  
Billeah – 6  
Candy – 4 Pacifica – 9  
Wendy – 7**

"Now that everyone's dressed and Dipper is conscious again… we can resume our festivities! For those who didn't hear my judging. Billeah's find was the most life threatening… having us stripped and almost violated in ways that would leave us screaming in terror in the middle of the nights well into old age… I awarded her first place. Pacifica's Siren only tried to kill dipper, so we give her second. Wendy's skull find seemed to interest Dipper the most, so she gets third Candy's swimming trinket got fourth

Billeah was grinning ear to ear.

"Our third round will be less… dangerous." Mabel said with a chuckle. "This will be our final round. Since it's anyone's game… I've devised a series of cryptographs and codes for the contestants to solve, each one progressively harder and worth more points."

"Wait a minute!" Wendy protested. "You're letting Billeah participate in a contest involving cryptographs?"

"Yea." Mabel retorted.

Billeah was grinning ear to ear.

"I'll add a timer, okay?" Mabel said, clearly shaken by the ear to ear grin of her cousin. "Ten… no five minutes… and Billeah has to do it with one hand… and I'll take away the really easy ones for her to give you guys a fighting chance."

Everyone grumbled and took their place.

"Alright… Go!"

Pacifica immediately finished the first Cypher. It spelled out _Dipper is awesome!_ in a cesarean cypher with one letter off. The next page was a more complex word jumble with the answer in some code.

Candy laughed at the word search, filling in all the words; she was able to unscramble the clue _Three Back._ She immediately recognized it as a clue to the next page.

Wendy was impressed that she was keeping up with Pacifica and Candy. She didn't want to sneak a peek at Billeah, for fear of losing her pace. She finished the word scramble and moved on to the next one when Mabel announced the one minute mark; Wendy redoubled her efforts and moved onto the next page. If she hadn't met Dipper, she'd have given up on these a long time ago. After going on all those adventures with him, her mind seems to naturally decode things now without a second thought.

"And… Time!" Mabel called out. Everyone put their pencils down and Mabel gathered up their papers. She sat next to Grenda who helped her correct them and tally up the results.

Mable was grinning ear to ear as she walked back to the contests and readied her announcement…

* * *

"Well?" Wendy, Grenda, Candy and Mabel demanded in unison. Pacifica's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"That's it… That's all she wrote." Pacifica said.

"Oh come on!" Candy lamented. "I so would have kicked all your butts in that contest!"

"Ha, you wish!" Wendy retorted. "She got one thing right… my mind is a code breaking machine! Me and Dipper would spend hours on cryptogram puzzles at the store… BAM! Decoded!"

"I think we need to stop letting Billeah watch late night anime." Dipper commented. Mable giggled and nodded. "You forgot the watermelon smashing."

"I… didn't have time." She said solemnly.

"Well?" Mabel said, looking at Billeah. "Who won?"

Billeah looked down at her hands and fidgeted with her fingers.

"Here… Let me help." Dipper said and took the laptop. He read as he typed out the ending.

* * *

"In a shocking turn of events…" Mabel announced. "It's a four way tie. Billeah was able to answer just as many as the other contestants, lending her enough points to reach twenty… along with everyone else."

Everyone groaned at the announcements.

"So what other crazy things are you going to have us do?" Pacifica said.

"Oooh! Bikini contest?" Candy asked.

"Can't… that tentacle creature destroyed mine… remember?" Wendy said in a huff.

"I'll be the final judge. That's what this is all about right?" Dipper said and approached his sister. "I appreciate everyone's participation and I had lots of fun this afternoon. But… as the sun sets, so does my heart."

"So, you're going to finally pick someone?" Pacifica said, eyes full of hope.

"Sadly, I wish to pick… but I cannot. For you see, Rumble McSkirmish killed my father. And I must go… go into the sunset and find him. I must avenge the death of my father. Only then will I regain my honor and be able to give myself over to the one I love." Dipper said.

He stoically looked out to sea as the sun set behind him, bathing his raggedly torn clothes in red and orange. The wind picked up, tugging the fabrics of his family's Karate uniform, like a flag.

"Dipper, we understand your quest." Billeah said.

"We will wait for you, my beloved." Pacifica continued, locking arms with Billeah.

"I hope you can make your way home to us soon." Wendy said, moving to the other side of Billeah.

"And don't die… or we'll hate you." Candy said, wiping away a single tear.

Arm in arm, they waved Dipper off as he continued his journey for Rumble McSkirmish, the man who killed his father. He walked slowly into the sunset... ending one chapter, but opening another.

* * *

"OH COME ON!" everyone shouted in unison and threw Styrofoam cups at Dipper. Dipper dodged the projectiles and passed the computer back to Billeah. She smiled and held it to her chest as everyone debated how the contests would have truly wound up.

Dipper looked out the window and smiled as he could see the ocean rise into view, the endless body of water growing closer and closer, as they neared their destination.


	4. The Heart Wants

Lazy Susan set a slice of pie in front of the tiny blond haired girl who always wore yellow. It's not that she doesn't like yellow; she just never understood the hoity-toity fancy dresses the girl always wore. She looked like the porcelain dolls Susan's mother collected when she was growing up. She wondered if they were still in her storage.

It took a moment to remember her name, so many people come through here and most of them were regulars. She tried to remember them all. Her name was strange and always on the tip of her tongue.

 _Billeah_

Lazy Susan looked behind her to see where the whisper came from. Shrugging it off she smiled and leaned forward to make eye contact with the one eyed girl.

"Heya, want a refill on that coffee, Billeah?" She asked. The young girl looked at her empty cup, and back at her. She nodded and went back to writing. Lazy Susan walked to the coffee pots and rubbed her eyes. Her hay fever was coming back in full swing. She got her eye drops out and put one in each eye, holding open the lid for the bad one and blinked them away.

She paused, hearing something just outside of her hearing, but unable to make it out. She jerked her whole body, like she fell asleep for a moment. Must be her allergy medication she thought to herself. She put the eye drops away and grabbed the cup of coffee.

When did she pour it?

Shrugging the oddity away, she delivered the coffee to Billeah and gave her a big grin as she ate the blueberry pie.

"How is it, hon?" She asked.

"Mmmm." She said with a grin. Her fingers flew across the keyboard.

"Where're your cousins?" She asked. She usually sees Stanford's grand-kids with her. Well, the whole faking your death and taking the identity of your brother thing confused her about their relations. Last time she talked to his brother, he assured her they are Stanford's grand-kids and not his niece and nephew anymore.

"They're doing something at the library… they'll be here soon." She said, and took a sip of coffee.

Lazy Susan wandered off to take more orders and refill more coffee. When she went to check on the girl, she was holding her stomach and looked sick.

"You okay, hon?" Susan asked. Billeah shook her head no. "Need to go to the bathroom?"

Billeah nodded and winced in pain.

"Yeah, there's a bug going around… here, let me help you." Susan said and helped her out of the seat. She held her tiny hand and led her to the restroom.

"My computer…" She said.

"I'll look after it; you go on in there and take all the time you need. Your cousins show up, I'll let them know where you are." Susan said while rubbing her back.

Poor kid.

She nodded and limped inside the only bathroom they had and shut the door. Lazy Susan walked back behind the counter and helped another customer. Her feet hurt from pulling a double shift. She called back to one of her staff and decided to take a break.

She walked over to Billeah's booth and saw her opened and unlocked laptop. She said she'd keep an eye on it. What better way than to take her break here? She won't charge her for the pie; poor girl seems to have it rough back there.

Absentmindedly she clicked open the document Billeah was working on. What was this? Some sort of story she's writing? The cute little thing is a writer! Susan's sure she wouldn't mind if she had a peek, from the sounds of the groans echoing from the bathroom, she'd be a while.

* * *

Billeah sat awake in her room and stared at her walls of dolls. She envied them; perfect and silent. They were beautiful and content with their lives. Everyone would look at them and say how pretty they were, how much hard work it must be to keep them looking pristine. No one understood why they were there. Why they silently watch her with empty eyes. Why she clings onto them so much to keep her from slipping away.

Billeah looked to her door as the sound of knocking broke the silence she was drowning in.

"Heya, Billeah," said the sweet voice of a young man. Her heart fluttered for a moment before she forced herself to keep composed. Dipper poked his head into the room and grinned at her. Just his smile sent blood rushing to her cheeks. She turned away slightly, knowing he could barely see her in the dark room, but still wanting to hide her reddened face.

"Hi…" She said. Words are so hard around him. They used to flow so easy. She was confident, powerful, and in control. Now, looking around, she was everything but that. Weak, frail and easily broken… like her dolls. She never knew what to say around him. She gave up trying long ago, fearing the next thing she said to the boy will drive him away from her.

"I was just checking on you." Dipper said, letting himself in and shutting the door. "You okay?"

Billeah nodded and looked at one of her dolls. This one had brown hair and green eyes. An old French style dress she loved adorned the doll, but she could never found an outfit to match. Most of them were too bulky and cumbersome to wear. She preferred modernizing her dresses so they are comfortable, yet fashionable.

"That one is Lucy?" Dipper said more as a statement than a question. He's taken the time to learn all their names, something that made her happy yet feel even more uncomfortable around him. Why should he care?

Dipper took Lucy down and sat next to Billeah on her bed. She sat up and scooted next to him as close as she could. She always worried he would pull away anytime they touched, but to her relief, he never did.

"Lucy's having a problem" Billeah said. "The butcher's son just sent a dowry to her, but she's hoping to win over the affections of Lord Bartholomew's middle son Enrick."

Dipper pointed to another Doll, this one blond with brown eyes and a white dress.

"Doesn't Enrick wish to be betrothed to Camellia? She is nobility." Dipper said. Billeah nodded. "I can see the problem."

Billeah rested her head on his shoulder and stroked Lucy's hair. They both looked at the doll and let the silence engulf them. Dipper was the only one who understood the dolls. He understood her need for them and why they were here.

"I think…" Dipper said. "I think Lucy should try to meet with the Butcher's son. Nothing official! Just lunch or something. Give him a chance to make her laugh. I think if Lucy can laugh, she'll feel much better and realize she doesn't have to reach so far to find happiness."

Billeah took Lucy from Dipper's hand and hugged her. If he only knew how close happiness was and how hard it is when it's still unobtainable.

"I think she'll try." Billeah said, standing up and putting her back on the shelf. "Her friends say it's a good idea, and the butcher's boy is handsome and kind. I think… I think it will be alright for her."

"I hope so… Lucy deserves to be happy" Dipper said. Billeah stood in front of her dolls and let out a small gasp as she felt Dipper's arms wrap around her from behind. Her heart beat in her ears and she felt faint. His arms squeezed for a moment and let her go. She felt her knees quivering at the sudden embrace and turned to look at Dipper. He was already walking to the door. "Come on, let's go somewhere."

Billeah, always at a loss for words around him, nodded and followed him out the door.

To her surprise, she didn't see Mabel. Usually they go everywhere together, but this time it felt different.

"Where are we going?" Billeah asked. Dipper led them out of their home and into the back yard. There was a newly constructed Gazebo that had a string of white Christmas outdoor lights entangled through the dome.

"You've been inside a while, I just finished this and wanted to show you." He said, standing proudly before the structure he had crafted.

"It's lovely…" she said. Dipper grabbed her hand and pulled her to the middle of the gazebo, he sat her down at the bench and sat next to her, never letting go of her hand.

"Billeah… I'm worried about you." He said. "Worried you're falling away from us."

Billeah shook her head no. Dipper put his arm around her and pulled her to him, resting her head on his shoulder and chest.

"We've been through a lot together." He said, more to himself. She nodded in agreement.

"Do you regret all this?" She asked him. Her heart froze, why did she say that? Why would she open that up now of all places? These questions ate away at her every night, but she pushed them down, never letting them out. She wanted to run and hide from the sounds that left his lips.

"No." he whispered. "I… I used to. I miss Mom and Dad; I miss my old life in Piedmont. I used to worry all the time about you and your intentions. Every day is one day past all that, and I can see you for who you are."

"And how do you see me?" She whispered. Her whole body shook, and he could feel it. A wave of panic washed over her as she waited for his reply.

"I see you as you." He said with a chuckle and squeezed. "You are my perfect Billeah."

Billeah looked up at Dipper, his brown hair gently blowing in the breeze. His gaze seemed to be at the home they built for themselves after the tragedy that befell them three years ago. He looked down at her, locking his one eye with hers and leant down. Billeah closed her eye and felt weightless, unsure of what he would do. Happiness and disappointment filled her as she felt soft and strong lips press against her forehead.

"It will be dinner soon." Dipper said, standing her up. "Let's see what we can make."

She stayed silent as Dipper laughed and giggled with his sister. She watched Pacifica and Wendy vie for his affections in their playful and flirty game. She knows he understands what they do, but he is too polite to rebuke or encourage them. This was her life, silently watching everything play out in front of her but never truly participating. This was mostly all she knew.

There were times, where she had to interact with people. She could put up the false bravado of a mad god. That's what was expected at the time. But now, there's no need to… especially with him.

Sometimes she would wonder if they knew… knew her feelings. Would they scold her? She knew that wouldn't be the case. It would be more pity and subtle jealousy. She was his favorite, next to his sister. She admitted to herself she would play games to garner his attention in front of her rivals, but any time she gets him to dote on her, she always feels sad. Does he even think of her the way he ponders Wendy or Pacifica?

With dinner over and the guests leaving, she headed up to her room only to find her great uncle waiting for her. He was sitting on her bed, looking at one of her dolls. Her mind raced to the day he tied her to a tree and screamed at her over and over. It took all her effort not to run away.

"You need to stop." He said. It wasn't a harsh tone, or an accusatory one, just a simple statement that was understood by both.

"I… I tried." She whispered.

"He only sees those two… you're his cousin, he can't look at you like that." He said softly.

"But… I'm not… not really." She whispered.

"Yes… yes really. That's how life made it, and you need to respect it. He loves you, isn't that enough?" Stanley said in his stern tone.

"No…" Billeah whispered, she could feel her heart ache and eye burn at just the simple word uttered.

"No other boys you can focus on and ignore him?" Stanley asked. Billeah sniffed back her tears and shook her head while staring at a spot on the floor. She couldn't look at him, it was too hard.

"You see and understand a lot more than we do… you see how this can end right?" Stanley asked. Billeah nodded. It can only end in pain. Stanley stood up, putting the doll back.

"Tell him everything." Stanley said. "Sit him down and make him understand. Then you'll have no regrets, and he can tell you no. Then you will not have to grow up wondering and can move to a different place."

He walked past her and out the door, pausing for a moment and looked at her over his shoulder.

"It will be hard, but it's for the best." Stanley said.

Once the door shut fully, Billeah slipped out of her dress. She stood naked in front of her mirror and scrutinized her body, wishing it was something he would appreciate. Wordlessly she slipped on her nightgown and got into bed, hoping he would tuck her in.

She smiled to herself as he knocked softly and poked his head in. He must have gotten out of the shower because his shirt clung to him and he was wearing boxer shorts. She felt her cheeks flush again and pulled the covers up to her nose. Dipper gave her a half smile and walked to her bed and sat down.

"You tucked in?" he asked. She nodded and closed her eye as his fingers ran through her hair. He made a shushing sound while caressing her cheek and gently scratching her scalp.

"I love you." She whispered. The euphoria distracted her from the words that slipped out.

"I love you too, now have a good sleep." He said, and kissed her forehead. Only when he returned those words did she realize what she had said.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel entered Greasy's Diner and looked for their cousin. Dipper immediately saw the yellow laptop and Lazy Susan engrossed with something on the screen. Where was his cousin?

"Hey, Susan…" Dipper said, he didn't mean his tone to be sharp, but she jumped almost a foot at the interruption.

"Oh! Oh hey, Dipper! I didn't see you come in!" She stammered. "I was just… Oh, ya know I need to go refill some coffee. She's in the can, must be a stomach flu or something!"

Susan glanced at the computer then back up to Dipper, grinned sheepishly and hurried off to fill up an empty cup of coffee. Dipper sat where she was and saw one of his cousin's stories was opened and scrolled halfway down. He half closed the laptop and looked up to his cousin who was grinning nervously.

"Another story?" She chuckled. Dipper was more worried about Billeah than whatever crazy fiction she was writing.

"Hey Mabes, can you check on her?" he asked after looking at the cold cup of coffee. Mabel clearly wanted to look but recognized his worry and nodded. Wordlessly she spun around, marched to the bathroom, and knocked on the door. He felt relief when the door opened and she went inside.

Dipper opened the laptop and glanced over the document Lazy Susan was reading.

* * *

Billeah sat next to Dipper during breakfast. He didn't seem to act different after she let those terrible words slip her mouth. She had no sleep that night, which was sad because dreaming was the closest to home she ever truly got. She loved her life here, but she missed her old home often.

"So what are your plans today?" Mabel asked Dipper. He shrugged and flipped through some book.

"I dunno." He said.

"Movie." Billeah said, mortified at what she just said. Everyone looked at her and she felt like shrinking away. "I… Dipper is going… I mean…"

"Billeah," Dipper said, grabbing her hand and holding it in a courtly handshake one would use with a princess. "Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to a movie, m'lady? I would be honored to be graced with your presence."

He always knew how to make her feel better when she's embarrassed. Playing their game, she stiffened and looked as regal as she could and nodded her acceptance. They finished breakfast and she rushed to her room to get changed.

She had most of her dresses on her bed and was undecided at what to wear. She wanted something casual and cute, not something to make her look like a doll but something that would make him see her as a rival to Pacifica and Wendy without looking like she's trying to be.

Billeah was startled with a knock on the door. Mabel poked her head in and spied the chaos on the bed. Her normal smile went full Mabel grin as she closed and locked the door.

"Having trouble deciding what to wear?" She said slyly and elbowing her in the ribs. Billeah rubbed the sore spot her cousin's boney elbow jabbed and stayed silent. "Awful lot of work you're putting in there just to go hang out with Dipper."

"I… just…" Billeah looked around at the dresses and was at a loss for words.

"Say no more… not that it's my business, but I'm me so I'm going to meddle." She said and put her arm around Billeah, stretching her hand out in front of the two of them as if to dramatically depict a scene before them. "So… you want to get his attention? You want him to think… I don't see you as my cousin but as a woman!"

Billeah hid her face in her hands. She could feel herself turning red just at her cousin saying those words.

"Stop!" She squeaked.

"Hey… who am I to judge… I've dated a vampire, gnome king, merman, and an entire boy band at the same time… and I'll tell you a secret." Mabel leaned close and looked around to ensure there's no one to listen. "I dated Dipper clone number 4 for a week until a tragic accident involving a slip and slide."

Billeah gasped at the revelation.

"Hey, we live in Oregon… and in the _armpit_ of Oregon. There's slim pickings around here for hot trendy girls like us. I'd never ever ever make a pass at my own brother… but Dipper clone 4 was already his own person for a good two years. And, he was made of paper and ink, so I don't really put it too high on the creepy scale."

"You're… not mad?" Billeah asked. "I thought you'd hate me."

"Hey, I got your back." Mabel said and gave her a hug. "Let's really give him a run for his money."

Billeah felt weird not wearing her frills and puffy gowns. She wore tennis shoes, shorts and a V-neck shirt. Her normally styled hair was taken out of its pony tail, the curly locks cascaded over her shoulders and divided between her front and back.

She felt so exposed, she wanted to hide away. Mabel was right behind her shoving her down the stairs.

"Remember what we talked about!" Mabel whispered in her ear.

"Hey… Bill…eah…" Dipper said, his jaw was opened and looked her up and down. Mabel gave her a shirt Candy left during a sleepover, so it was a size too small. It emphasized the curves and shape of the lithe figure. She crossed her arms defensively in front of her, not sure what to do with her hands since Mabel hid her parasol. "You look great! You ready?"

Billeah nodded and walked out the door he held for her. He was always such a gentleman. She wrapped herself around his arm as they walked into town. She half listened to his small talk and relished the contact. With her normal fluffy outfits there were many layers of fabric between them that served as a shield of sorts to separate her from the world around her. Like this, all that stood between her body and his bare arm was one layer of clothing. She could feel his body heat as she clung on him, never wanting to let go.

"You want popcorn?" Dipper asked. She looked up at him, not realizing they were already there. She nodded and he ordered a bucket with two sodas.

Billeah went over the plan. They were going to see a scary movie. She would jump at the right parts and cling on him, she would hold his hand, she would coyly look at him and turn away when he notices her looking at him… just subtle enough to have him think she's trying to sneak a glance and he caught her.

She wanted to pick a romantic movie, but Mabel said that would be too obvious.

She really wished she didn't listen to her cousin.

She giggled at all the wrong parts… especially when the man's head was caught in the wood chipper.

She tried to steal glances, but Dipper sat to her left, which is her blind spot… so she had to exaggeratingly turn her head to stare at him.

She reached for his had a total of six times, each time just so happened to be when he reached for popcorn.

Halfway through the movie, she felt like she wanted to disappear. She was glad he was having a good time, so she quietly left him and retreated to the girl's room. She hid in the stall and banged her head against the door.

Her cellphone buzzed.

 _\- You ok? The bad guy just fed a teenager to a pack of lions in the zoo. I think I even saw a boom mic in the frame! You would have loved it!_

 _\- Billeah has died and cannot answer her phone._

 _\- Why don't we get outa here, you seemed to be distracted anyway._

 _\- I have died and cannot come out._

 _\- Please? I'm already standing in front of the bathroom. We'll go anywhere you want._

 _\- I don't know where I want to go… just not here._

 _\- I have an idea where we can go._

 _\- Okay._

Billeah left the safety of her stall and checked her hair. She looked so strange in normal clothes; she wished she had a jacket or something she could hide in. As she left the bathroom Dipper was leaning up against the wall and had his flannel button shirt in his hand and outstretched, offering it to her. He always seemed to read her mind and do exactly what she needed. She took the shirt and held it to her chest, burying her face in it.

"You… looked cold." Dipper said and helped her in it. She wrapped it around herself and pressed herself as close to Dipper as she could and followed him out of the theater. They walked in silence again as Dipper lead her into the woods. He walked around, looking for signs of something and following some hidden trail only he knew.

After walking for a half hour, they came to a clearing with a fallen tree that was covered in moss. Dipper sat up against the tree, and reached inside a hollowed knot. He pulled out a blanket and motioned her to sit next to him.

"I come here sometimes to be alone." He said. "I haven't shown this place to anyone"

"You have a blanket here?" She said, covering up in the flannel blanket and laid on him.

"Sometimes I get cold, so I figured a flannel blanket stashed in a cubby hole will be a nice addition."

"What do you do here?" She asked.

"Think about things." Dipper admitted.

"What sorts of things?"

"Big things, little things, all sorts of things."

He looked down at her and smiled, brushing a stray hair behind her ear.

"It looked like you needed a thinking place." He said. She nodded. "We can stay here til you're done thinking."

"I'm tired of thinking… I'm tired of feeling. I wish I could go back. How? How do you do this?" She said, sitting up and looking at him.

"How do I do what?" Dipper asked, his typical oblivious expression enraged her. He knew what she was talking about! How could he not?

"Why did you bring me out here?" Billeah snapped. "Why? You… you bring me here, wrap me in a blanket and make me feel safe and secure when there's no such thing! I… argh!"

She covered her face and told herself over and over she wouldn't cry, but it didn't help.

"I bought you here, to give you a safe place to say anything you want to say to me." Dipper said calmly. He pulled her hands away from her face and wiped away her tears. "I'll listen."

"No… you won't!" She hiccuped. "You'll hear me… you'll placate me… but you won't listen to me. I hurt so badly because of you!"

Dipper pulled her on his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He rocked her back and forth as she clung onto him like flotsam on a stormy sea.

"Say whatever will make you feel better." Dipper whispered.

"I… I love you." She said into his chest.

"I love you, too." He said back and stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth.

"No!" She stammered… "You're not listening!"

She pulled away from him and stared him in the eye.

"I… _love…_ you" She said. Dipper's half smile slowly dropped as the words sunk in.

"Oh…" He said.

Billeah could barely see through the watery haze. She tried to shove herself away from him, but his strong hands gripped her wrist, refusing to let her run. Exhausted, she fell on his chest and let his arms wrap around her like a shield.

No words passed between the two of them for what felt like an eternity.

"I… want to make a deal." Dipper said. Billeah's heart broke. She expected this; this was the worst thing she imagined he would say. With one word, he would wipe away everything that has happened, change the course of history and wipe out this day… and her! He's going to wish her away!

"No… please." She begged.

"I want to make a deal." He said again. Billeah could feel her eyes burn blue and hair stand on end. The link to her over mind was activated and there was nothing she could do to stop it. The words came from her mouth as she channeled her overmind; the dream demon Bill.

"Well, well, well, Pinetree, what do you want this time?" Bill said through her voice.

"Bill… we need to talk." Dipper said. He never let go of her. Billeah was glad. She felt like she would slip into insanity if he didn't keep her grounded. "I'll make this simple. I want you… Billeah… normal. No access to the overmind, just normal until she grows old and dies. Once she's cast off her mortal shell, you can go back to being a dream demon or whatever."

"Why would I do that?" Bill/Billeah asked. "Handicap myself like that?"

"It's what you really want isn't it? This way there will be no lingering yearning for your powers and you can have the full human experience. Sixty years or so is nothing to a dream demon. It's a nap." Dipper said.

"Okay… so if I do this, what do I get in return?" Bill/Billeah said.

"My heart." Dipper said. "I will give you my love and devotion until I die, even if your human body dies first."

"What about the red-head and the Llama girl?" Bill/Billeah said. "You've been pining over them for a long time. _Ha! I said Pine!_ "

Dipper shook his head.

"They don't need me like she does… like you do. I don't really need them like I need you. I know our paths started out rocky, but as much as I think about it… I can't see myself without you. We need each other, and I've known it for as long as I've been back."

Bill/Billeah was silent.

"You're just fascinated with the human puppet." Bill/Billeah retorted.

"So are you." Dipper countered.

The mysterious and jovial overmind went silent, considering its options.

"Do you know what it's like in that thing? I'm barely keeping it together Pinetree. You do this, you're cutting yourself off, too… you realize this?" Bill/Billeah said. Billeah felt a reassuring squeeze from Dipper

"I realize this. I've thought about it a lot, a lot more than I let on." He said.

"You… don't just care about the meat suit?" Bill/Billeah said. Dipper shook his head no.

"I think… Billeah is the part of you that you hide from everyone. That's the real you, not the psychotic deer teeth pulling manipulative creature to haunt humanity for all of creation. Why do you even bother with us? Because you want to see the world the way we see it, through the eye of someone like her. I'll do that for you and promise myself to you for the lifetime I can give you."

"Pinetree… I can make you like me ya know. You don't have to die. We can watch civilizations rise and fall. You can have the power to re-create this world as you see fit. You can be any shape you want to be! A dodecahedron!"

"I already made the world the way I want… I made it with you and I want to live in it with you and experience all it has to offer in a way that you've never seen before." Dipper said.

"You can't break a promise with me." Bill/Billeah said. "You realize that? In twenty years when I'm old and fat, you can't go running off to Red or Llama girl!"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Dipper said. "Do we have a deal?"

"Pinetree…." Bill/Billeah said. "I'm scared."

"I'll shelter you." Dipper said. Bill/Billeah looked into his brown eyes; his hand reached her chin and pulled her forward, pressing his lips against hers. For the first time ever, a deal was not struck with a handshake… but a kiss.

* * *

"Hey!" Mabel hoarsely whispered. Dipper looked up and nodded. Mabel was holding up a hunched over Billeah. He closed the laptop and shoved it in his bag. His hands were trembling and he shoved them in his pockets to steady them.

"You doing okay, sweetie?" he asked. Billeah looked up at him and attempted a smile. Her eye was red and swollen.

"She needs to get to the doctor." Mabel said. "It's really bad, she can't keep anything down."

"I got her." Dipper said. He passed Mabel his bag and picked her up off her feet. She's as light as ever. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in the nape of his neck. Mabel went to pay Lazy Susan who shook her head no. Dipper paused before leaving, saw Billeah's bag still in the seat, and grabbed it.

"You didn't read it… you didn't read it." She whispered over and over and clung on him for dear life. "Please…"

"Read what?" Dipper lied. "The one where Mabel's a mermaid and I'm a centaur/faun thing? I was enjoying that one."

He felt her grip loosen.

As they left, no one noticed a carved square with a grinning mouth on the paneling of the seat. Wordlessly it faded into the wood grain.


	5. The Hunger

**WARNING!**

 **This story is NOT appropriate for... anyone!**

**AJunkusername from AO3 requested this... and I was dared to really drive home the M rating of these. I Want to give you a good lemon warning and let you know this is a violent and graphic story! _SQUEAMISH DO NOT READ!_**

 **Let me know what you think, and as always I'm open to what the next fan-fic will be!**

* * *

Pacifica flipped through her twitter account bored with all the updates she was streaming. Absentmindedly she commented on a few and put in wink smiles and reposted. She let her phone drop from her hands in disgust and looked around.

One thing she knew was that she was bored.

Her boredom led her to the Mystery Shack. The girls and Dipper recently came back from a weekend at Cannon Beach and had a blast. Now that it was the week, Wendy was working the register, Dipper was off doing god knows what. His cousin was probably flirting with some boy, and who knows where everyone else was.

She moved upside down on the couch in the Shack's TV room and sighed. Stanley, the missing brother, walked in front of her carrying a box.

"You have a key or something now?" He demanded gruffly. She missed the old Stan, he's in some government facility working on the portal for Agent Trigger and Agent Powers… or that's what Dipper said. This Stan was gruff, mean, and straight to the point. He never smiled. The old Stan, swindler he was, always laughed and would put on a show for the kids, even if it was to get their money.

"I'm waiting for Dipper." She said. He kind of gave her a grunt.

"You know he has a phone." He said.

"Voicemail." Pacifica retorted.

"Could always wait in his house… on the front porch… like a normal person? Not barging into someone's home and loitering?" Stanley grumbled.

"I've been coming over here since I was twelve… does that not lend me some privilege?" Pacifica lamented. "Am I not family now?"

"Hey, what they do in the big house is up to them... as long as it's not boozing and sexing it up." Stanley grunted. The big house he referred to was the home Dipper, Mabel, and their cousin designed and built on the Mystery Shack's property from their parent's insurance money.

"If you want me to go I will," Pacifica sighed. "I just really like it here."

Stanly sighed. He may be gruff, but he wasn't heartless. That's something she's learned about him over the years.

"Do what you want, just don't break stuff." He said and moved the box of mysterious items into the back room. She loved Stanley as much as her family, even if he didn't say it, she knew he saw her like one of his own relatives. That's why she loved it here, everyone was one big family.

"Pacifica." said a soft voice from behind her. "Your head is purple."

"Billeah!" She squealed and sat up. She had to steady herself from the blood rushing away from her head.

"Dipper's not here." She said looking around.

"I know that." Pacifica huffed. "I just came by to… see you! Yeah, I don't always have to be coming over to see the nerd."

"You came to see… me?" Billeah asked, her eyes were wide and looked like she was almost about to cry. "I… didn't think you liked me."

"Why would you ever think that?" Pacifica asked. She really knew why, Billeah was weird… and from hanging out with Dipper and Mabel, that puts her into perspective. Pacifica flopped down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. An evil through crept into her head. If she could get his cousin to like her, it might add some points to the Dipper contest she and Wendy were secretly having.

"So… Billeah…" Pacifica said… and her mind went blank. What was she going to talk to her about? They spent a lot of time together, but she didn't really know her that well. It was always with Mabel, Dipper and the rest of the girls.

"Pacifica…" Billeah asked, her eyes filled with hope. The look gave Pacifica a small stab in the chest. Was she going to use and manipulate this poor girl to woo the boy she's chasing?

"Billeah…" She said, still at a loss for words.

"Want to read a story?" Billeah said. Her face went from doe eyed to almost dark and foreboding. Pacifica's stomach dropped. She's already been privy to one of Billeah's friend-fictions and others have been whispered about. Whenever she shares them, a part of you will forever be changed, and she will steal a part of your soul and put it inside one of her dolls.

"I… uhh…" Pacifica stammered.

"It's about you… and Dipper." She said coyly and opened her laptop. "You can read it… because we're friends."

A stabbing panic gripped her chest at the foreboding sound of the last statement. Billeah opened a file and passed her the laptop. She knew Dippers' cousin didn't like to read out loud, so with trembling hands she took the laptop and looked at the open document.

"Ahem… okay. _Hunger by Billeah Pines,_ " Pacifica read… strange title, but okay.

* * *

Pacifica stood behind Dipper as he read his journal. She never could fully make out what all the marks and squiggles on the pages were but she enjoyed just being around him.

They were hunting for something in the woods; Dipper mumbled to himself and checked his compass. With a nod he beckoned Pacifica to follow.

"You sure you want to come with me? Mabel usually tags along." Dipper said.

"Oh, she was busy… so I offered to be your mystery buddy tonight" Pacifica said. What she really did was bribe his twin with a drum of edible glitter and a thousand dollar gift card to the craft store. "So… what are we looking for? Monsters? Gnomes? Sparkly Vampires?"

"No, I heard some weird calls on the police band about a big hairy white haired monster." Dipper said. His voice was always full of excitement when he spoke of the strange and unusual.

"Should we let the local authorities handle something like that?" She asked.

"Blubs would run and hide… remember the Vampire Bat?" Dipper chuckled. The photo of Dipper saving the town from the bat while Blubs and his partner were screaming like girls hung on her wall at home.

"But… what do we do if we find it?" Pacifica asked.

"Observe and document," Dipper said.

"And if it wants to do more than observe and document?" She asked.

"There's always plan B," he said and patted his backpack.

They made their way deeper into the woods. Pacifica moved next to Dipper and held his hand. He squeezed it reassuringly and led on.

She wondered if he even knew how she felt about him. They'd been friends since the party at the manor, and since the portal accident they'd spent a lot of time together. He's always so withdrawn and it's no secret about his infatuation with a certain older women.

"I think we're here," Dipper said, interrupting her train of thought.

"Oh… that… it smells awful!" Pacifica gagged. Dipper pointed to a cave mouth. It was littered with animal carcasses. Dipper handed her a bandana that was folded. He motioned to put it over her mouth. She tied it around her nose and mouth, the way Dipper did with his, and was relieved to be bombarded by the smell of mint and sage.

Dipper pulled a camera from his backpack and extended the tripod that he brought with them. Quietly setting up the camera, they retreated far enough for safety while remaining within range of the remote control.

"When will it show up?" Pacifica asked. She felt the hairs stand on the back of her neck. Dipper and she looked behind and up in horror to find a seven foot humanoid covered in white hair and deer antlers growling at them.

"Pacifica." Dipper said softly. "Run."

To her astonishment, Dipper threw himself at the creature, attempting to give her the vital seconds needed to make a break for it. Her mind raced at what Dipper had talked about when they walked. If she ran… follow the path back to the hut… Get Stanley and tell him where they were.

"Follow the path… follow the path." She repeated. He could hear the fight raging behind her. She wanted to turn and help him but this was her job… her job to get Stan… She thanked every personal trainer in her head for the speed and endurance she'd accumulated over the years. She made short work of the three miles to the shack and kicked in the door.

"STAN SOMETHING GOT DIPPER!" Pacifica screamed at the top of her lungs. Without a word of question, Stanley was out the door with his rifle and backpack. Pacifica lead him back to where they were, and only found a pool of blood where Dipper had set up the camera.

"Oh my god, he's dead." Pacifica sobbed and fell on her knees.

"No, he's not… not yet." Stan said. He gave her the backpack and pulled out a small remote with one red button. "Listen… if anything but me or Dipper comes out of that cave, you throw this at them and push that button okay? Always have a plan B."

Pacifica nodded, clutching the bag to her chest. It felt heavy and lumpy, like it was filled with bricks. She took a peek inside and almost fainted when she read the word C-4.

Stanley crept inside the cave. She lost sight of him and waited in the deathly silence. She wished some bug or bird would chirp, letting her know it was safe.

 _Bang Bang Bang_

"Get back here you sonnava… ARG!" came Stan's voice from the cave.

 _Bang_

Silence fell on Pacifica's ears once again. It felt like forever, but she heard movement. She readied the bag and felt relief to see Dipper stumbling out of the cave. He was… naked, and covered in scratches. There was a bite mark on his shoulder and his whole body was covered in blood. In his hand was Stan's rifle.

He stumbled to a stop and looked around, dazed. Pacifica dropped the bag and rushed to him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Oh my god, I thought I lost you!" She sobbed. "Where's Stan?"

Dipper's face said it all. Wordlessly, he limped forward. She took off her purple sweater and wrapped it around his blood covered waist. The least she could do for him for saving her life was giving him some modesty.

It took almost an hour for him to limp home. Mabel and Billeah waited on the porch, worry painted across their faces. They rushed over when they broke through the tree line. No one said a word; it was all too obvious that if Dipper was back alone, what happened to Stan. Mable helped lead Dipper inside the house, and upstairs to the shower so they could clean him up and tend to his wounds.

Once he was back downstairs, Pacifica gave him a cup of coffee and wrapped a blanket around him. He moved to sit down and winced in pain. He looked almost ashamed at the reaction. What did that creature do to him?

"What was that thing?" She asked.

"I dunnno… I think it might be a Wendigo. They're spirits who possess humans and they become consumed with hunger. He… tried to eat me… but he… and then Stan got there. Stan got him off me and onto him… I was able to kill it, but not before he..." Dipper said. Quietly he broke down crying into his drink.

Pacifica wrapped her arms around him and held him while Mable and Billeah rubbed his back.

"You girls mind if I stay?" Pacifica asked. "I just… don't want to leave him alone."

"If it's okay," Mable asked Dipper. "I think you need to rest. We don't want you going down the rabbit hole on us."

Dipper sniffed and nodded.

"We… Stan's gone… we need to get his body or report it or something." Dipper sobbed.

"In the morning, there's nothing we can do for now." Mable said.

Pacifica helped Dipper up to his room and tucked him in. Mabel brought him some water and Billeah kissed his forehead.

"I'll keep an eye on him, you girls get ready for bed." Pacifica said. She gave Mabel and Billeah a hug. They nodded and left, leaving Dipper alone with her.

"What am I going to do with you?" She said softly and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Paz…" he said softly, reaching out for her. He's never called her that before! She took his hand, and he pulled her into his bed with him. She was shocked by the abruptness of it, but welcomed his arms wrapping around her and holding her.

"Dipper… what are you…" She whispered. There was an almost hungry look in his eye as he stroked her cheek. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Her mind exploded with the sudden attack on her senses. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her as they explored each other's mouths. He moved to her jaw line and her ear.

Pacifica couldn't think straight through the waves of euphoria as Dipper seemed to instinctively hit all the right spots with his lips. It blew away any form or rational thought. His hand rubbed her thigh and clawed above her jeans.

"I… we can't…" She whispered in his ear. She wanted to so bad but he wasn't in his right mind. He was hurting and he wanted someone to be there for him. She wanted to so bad, but… was he just using her? Would Wendy be here if she was sitting in that chair? "D… Dipper…."

His hand went under her shirt and grabbed her breast. She arched her back with a gasp as he kneaded and played with her. He was so sure of himself right now. The powerful and determined nature, the hungry look in his eye was driving her crazy.

"The… door… it's still… open… OH god!" Pacifica stammered. He was on top of her now and sunk his teeth into her neck then continued to play with her. Nothing to break the skin, but the biting and sucking was sure to leave a mark in the morning. She felt like exploding several times over. His knee was between her legs and rubbing against her. She was unconsciously moving her hips in time with him, only driving herself deeper into this madness. Was this really happening? She'd imagined for years their first time, but nothing like this… was she ready?

"Paz…" he whispered in her ear. He took her hand and slid it down his bare and bandaged chest and rested it on his manhood. All sense of rationality left her mind as she held him in her hand. The almost animalistic look on his face drove her over the edge and she clung to him as wave after wave of euphoria cascaded over her body. She clung onto him and silently screamed until the sensation subsided.

Covered in sweat and breathing heavy, she looked up at Dipper whose lips were turned up in a sly grin. She nodded and he took off her shirt and pants, he slid off his boxers and laid on top of her.

"I've… never…" Pacifica whispered. Dipper grinned and leaned over to her ear.

"Me, too." He whispered and playfully bit her lobe. He kissed her deeply and without warning pushed himself inside.

Pacifica clung onto him, expecting the worst, but as worked up as she was, it was a smooth transition with very little pain. All she could think about was that she was with Dipper. He chose her… and she was his.

Her mind was a wash of primal emotions as she felt her lover rhythmically thrusting. His eagerness was reflected with her own enthusiasm and reached a crescendo together, each one clinging onto the other like flotsam on a stormy sea of ecstasy.

He collapsed on top of her, still connected, and kissed her. She wrapped her legs around his back and pushed him as close to her as she could, never wanting to let the feeling subside. Her body ached and was covered in sweat, but she didn't care.

Her eyes felt heavy and she rolled her head to the side, she thought she saw someone standing in the doorway. When she blinked, the figure was gone. She was too tired to think about it, and closed her eyes to sleep.

* * *

"Um…" Pacifica was at a loss of words. Just reading that much, and she felt like she needed to take a cold shower. Billeah wore a mischievous grin, and also seemed to be a little out of breath herself.

"Keep reading." She said biting her lip. Pacifica looked around to make sure no one else was within earshot and scooted closer to Billeah. She could only imagine the flack she'd get reading out loud a smutty Billeah story if Mabel or… oh god, if Wendy heard it.

"Keep watch and let me know if anyone's coming" Pacifica said with a grin. Billeah nodded and looked around. She gave her a thumbs up.

* * *

Pacifica woke up to an empty bed. She looked at the alarm clock and saw it was only one thirty. Where was Dipper? She sat up and winced in pain. Her muscles ached and she was sore in other places. She lay back down, smiled at the memories of the previous encounter and wondered if she had it in her to try some more.

She was surely going to try.

Pacifica got out of bed, wrapped the sheet around her and looked for her clothes. She didn't see where they were, and it was too dark to fumble around. She walked to Dipper's closet and found a long blue flannel shirt of his and put it on. She's allowed to wear his shirts now, that's the rules right?

She quietly walked out of Dipper's room and went to the bathroom. After washing her hands, she took Mabel's brush and pulled out a handful of the brown hair in disgust. Gingerly she brushed her knotted hair and set the brush back where it was. She wanted to look put together for him when he comes back.

When she walked out of the bathroom she slammed into Mabel.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Pacifica asked and helped her up. She looked dazed.

"Oh, umm… yeah." She said, not looking her in the eye. What was up with her?

"Mabel, you okay?" She asked. Mabel's hand instinctively moved to her neck, as if she was trying to cover something up. Pacifica pulled Mabel into the bathroom and pulled her hand away from her neck. There was bite marks and hickies all over. Looking into the bathroom mirror, she could see they matched the ones on her.

Mabel looked Pacifica in the eye and broke down crying.

"Oh god… I'm so horrible!" she sobbed. "He… he woke me up… said he needed me… we… we..."

The realization of what Mabel was telling her sent a cold shock to her core. Did Dipper sneak off after they were together and ravage his own sister?

"What did I do?" Mabel stammered. "I didn't… I couldn't stop."

Pacifica held Mabel close to her and shushed her as she cried into her shoulder.

"I love him, he's my brother, why did we do that?" she blubbered.

"Where is he now?" Pacifica said coldly. She was going to kill the bastard.

"I don't know… I fell asleep and he was gone." She said. They both had the same realization.

"Billeah…." They said in unison and ran out the door and up to the attic stairs.

The door was closed and they could hear the sounds of rhythmic pounding and grunting. Pacifica's hand was shaking. She didn't want to see what was happening on the other side of the door. Mabel clung to her arm and buried her face in her shoulder.

They heard Billeah cry out, not in the ecstasy they both experienced, but in pain… real pain. Pacifica ripped open the door.

"You bastard!" She screamed and stopped in her tracks.

Dipper… or what was once Dipper stood over the naked body of Billeah. Her eyes gazed, lifeless as a massive bite was taken out of her throat. Dipper's body was covered in white hair and had grown two feet in size. He looked over at the two of them and was… chewing. He swallowed his bite, and leaned down to help himself to another mouthful of Billeah's corpse.

Mabel fell to the floor, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. Dipper seemed to unconsciously thrust even as he took bite after bite of his cousin, not even acknowledging the two of them.

"Mabel… get up." Pacifica whispered.

"Billeah… she's…" Mabel stammered.

"Listen to me… get up and we're going to slowly walk out... understand?" Pacifica said. Mabel didn't seem to hear her and just watched in horror as her brother continued to desecrate her cousin's body.

"Dipper's gone… that's not him," Pacifica whispered. Her own words broke her heart, but she remembered all he taught her and especially what to do in these situations. Mabel should know better as she was the more experienced one.

"Maybe…we can get to him… maybe he's still inside somewhere." Mabel said, and stood up. Pacifica grabbed her arm and tried to pull Mabel out of Billeah room, but she jerked her hand away. "NO! He needs me! We… we can fix this. We always fix things together!"

Mabel's shout seemed to snap Dipper out of his focused state. He dropped the half eaten body of Billeah on the ground and turned his full attention to his sister.

"Brobro… can you hear me?" Mabel whimpered. "It's me…"

Pacifica looked about franticly for something to use against him.

Mabel walked forward slowly.

"I… I know you didn't really… I mean… we… I forgive you." Mabel stammered. The Dipper/Wendigo took a step forward, turning his massive head to the side. In that small amount of time, he had grown another foot and had to hunch down so he could move.

"Mabel… we need to go." Pacifica yelled.

Mabel shook her head no.

"No… He knows me… he won't hurt me." She said defiantly. "I'm here for you; I'll do whatever you need. Just tell me… what can I do to bring you back?"

Pacifica looked away as Dipper's body reacted to her words. It was more than obvious what he had in mind. Mabel's face turned away and nodded.

"Mabel! Don't be stupid! That's not Dipper!" She screamed. She grabbed a lamp and threw it at Dipper. It crashed into pieces against his chest. The beast seemed unfazed by the onslaught and reached out for Mabel. His massive hands wrapped around her and pulled her to him. With his free hand he punched through the stained glass windows of Billeah's room and crawled out with his sister.

Pacifica ran to the window and saw Dipper disappear into the woods.

* * *

Pacifica looked at Billeah in horror at what she just read.

"What… the… hell?" was all she could say. Billeah blushed and hid her face.

"I fell asleep… watching _The Hills Have Eyes_." She admitted.

Pacifica had a migraine. She pinched the bridge of her nose to try and relieve it. She wanted to put the story away and never ever ever think about it again.

"Keep reading?" Billeah asked. She wrapped her arms around Pacifica's arm and rested her head against her. Such a cheap trick. "It ends happy."

"Uhg… fine." She said and went back to the story that would undoubtedly give her nightmares for years to come.

* * *

Pacifica raced through the house gathering supplies. She had her flashlight, a shot gun (even though she's never fired one before), and the backpack of C4 Stan gave her.

"Plan B…" She said and hefted it onto her back.

It took a short walk to reach the cave they found. The sounds coming from the cave made her stomach turn. There was an echo of grunting and cries, one clearly Mabel. There was no time for reconnaissance or any of the steps Dipper had taught her in these situations. She was going to go in guns blazing.

Pacifica ran into the cave's mouth and followed the trail of shredded corpses, both human and animal, deeper underground. She could hear the creature grunt and growl everywhere as the sound echoed off the walls. She hoped she could find him in time as she barreled through the darkness.

When the small cave walls erupted into a massive cavern. She saw the Dipper/Windego ravaging Mabel on top of a dead deer carcass. She was bent over, clinging desperately onto the antlers as the massive nine foot creature continued ramming as hard as he could. She aimed her shotgun and fired, the slug missing and burying itself into the wall behind him.

The creature was too engrossed in its activities to even care about the assault. As it reached its peak Mabel sobbed in horror, as apparently she reached hers. Pacifica readied another shot, but didn't pull the trigger fast enough. Dipper bent forward and bit the back of Mabel's neck. He bit through the spine and throat, ripping the sinew and skin from her body.

Pacifica watched in shock as Mabel's head fell to the ground and rolled like a discarded ball. Pacifica screamed and ran forward, unloading round after round into Dipper. The slugs buried themselves in his chest, and pushed him back from the decapitated body of his sister.

He screamed in pain and rushed Pacifica, a massive hand struck her and she flew through the air and slammed into the cave wall, hitting her head against the stone and blacking out.

She slowly came to feeling a massive weight on her chest. There was stabbing pain in her loins and hot musty air breathing on her. She opened her eyes and saw the twisted, deformed face of Dipper inches from her. He wore a look of animalistic lust as he engorged himself on her unconscious body. She was rocked back and forth as he worked himself. He raised a clawed hand, scratched her naked chest and licked the blood that poured from it.

She could barely think. His musk was driving her crazy. She knew what he was doing to her, and she tried to rationalize getting away, but her body refused and seemed to want him more. She remembered Dipper giving her the rag with herbs in it. She thought it was because of the rotten stench of dead bodies, but maybe he was protecting her from the creature's pheromones?

She tried to push him off her, but he was too massive to move. She was trapped and enthralled at the same time. Her back hurt, as it was arched up in a weird angle. Dipper had grabbed her legs and moved to his knees.

She was still wearing the backpack!

She tossed her head from side to side, looking for the shredded remains of her clothes. She saw them mere feet away from her! With all her might, she yanked her leg back and kicked Dipper in the chin. It was enough to roll over and scramble for her pants that had the remote.

She felt her ankle being grabbed just as she caught hold of the fabric of her pants. She was dragged back to Dipper, her pants along with her. She cried out in pain as he slammed himself against her. He clung and scratched her hips as he used her like a piece of meat.

Sobbing she pulled her pants to her and fumbled in the pockets. She reached in and felt the detonator and almost blacked out again from the pain that erupted from her left shoulder. She could taste the blood that rushed out of her body. She looked over in horror to see a chunk of flesh was torn out of her. Before she could react, another bite just over the ribs.

Dipper's thrusting increased as Pacifica's trembling hands flipped open the safety level, exposing a toggle switch. Dipper screamed as he released himself inside her. Tears streamed down her cheek as she fumbled with the switch.

"Plan B."

* * *

Pacifica stared blankly at the abrupt end of the story.

"I…" she started. "I thought you said it was going to have a happy ending."

"It does… you two end up together… just... all over the walls of the cave." Billeah said with a smile. "It's kind of romantic if you think about it."

Pacifica sat there in stunned silence.

"I had lots of fun!" Billeah said and gave her a hug. Pacifica half-heartedly hugged the little psycho back. "Next time I'll let you read another story!"

She skipped off and out of sight leaving Pacifica alone with her thoughts.

"Oh, hey Pacifica!" Dipper said, poking his head into the living room. He had his hands full with a box of something. It started rattling around and Mable smacked it a few times to quiet it down.

Pacifica almost jumped out of her skin.

"Dipper!" she stammered. "I, uhh… oh, look at the time I need to go. Sorry! I tried to wait around for you!"

Dipper passed the box to Mabel and shrugged.

"Want me to walk you home?" Dipper offered.

"What? No! oh … umm… no thank you! I'll come by later!" Pacifica said and rushed out the door.

"What was that all about?" Dipper asked, Mabel shrugged. Billeah held her laptop to her chest and just smiled.


	6. New Girl in Town (RFalls)

Pacifica laid on Mabel's bed and absently flipped through her scrapbook. Her friend had run to town to get more supplies for their scrap book project and left her to her own devices. She tried to insist on going but Mabel pointed out that if she did, the wealthy girl ends up paying for it, and she was not going to have that.

Why did they insist on using what little money they had on things when she could take care of them all without a second thought?

Pacifica sighed, unable to really understand her friends mentality. Dipper tried to explain it once, that there's a sense of satisfaction for working to achieve something. She knew all about achievement but after every first place trophy she ever won she always felt hollow.

She was bored and closed the book. Looking out the door she saw a brief streak of yellow pass Mabel's doorway.

Dipper's creepy cousin.

"No… I won't do it." She said to herself.

A few minutes of boredom got the better of her and she trudged up the stairs to the attic where Billeah kept her room. She knocked softly and opened the door a crack.

"Heya...' She whispered.

Billeah's back was to her as she typed on her laptop. Looking around the bedroom she saw row after row of cubby holes each one held a porcelain doll that was part of her collection.

"Come in." She said without looking behind her.

"Mabel's gone and… well, I'm bored." Pacifica admitted.

"So… in your boredom, you come to see me?" Billeah asked. Pacifica felt really bad with the slighted comment. "You've been avoiding me all week."

"I...' Pacifica thought of a million excuses to say to her, but decided to be honest about this. "You really spooked me with that last story. I've been having nightmares and flinching when Dipper is nearby."

"It's just a story." Billeah said.

"I know… I know." Pacifica said.

"I thought you were my friend." Billeah said in her usual even tone. Pacifica always had a hard time catching the inflections when she spoke, another part of her that really creeped her out.

"I am!" Pacifica protested. She moved from the door to the bed that was next to her desk and sat down. "Look… I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I know how much you put into these and I really appreciate that you shared it with me… but you have to admit, you picked that one to scare me!"

Pacifica was at a loss for words, there was a sly grin on Billeah's face as her fingers stopped typing.

"I guess I was bad, too." She said softly.

"Friends?" Pacifica asked. Billeah nodded.

"So… how about I read another story? Something not so scary?"

Billeah closed her eyes and took a breath, then stood and offered the seat to Pacifica. She'd have to ask Dipper about this, it seems like a huge deal to Billeah and she wanted to make sure she wasn't offending her.

"Okay… so now what?" Pacifica asked.

"That folder… has all my worlds." Billeah said.

Pacifica opened it up and saw hundreds of folders each one labeled with a different title. Gravity Falls, Depravity Falls, Monster Falls, ect

"Wow… where do you come up with all of these?" Pacifica asked in astonishment.

"I'm really an omnipresent creature trapped in a human body who has watched humanity grow from its fledgling state. Your kind fascinates me. Time itself is not a river, but a frothing bubbling sea of possibilities. I tap into these and watch the events play out… Human imagination is very rudimentary with parallel observations, but it's the closest I can come to my omniscience." Billeah said, matter of factly.

Pacifica gave her a blank stare, trying to understand just what she was saying. Was she glowing for a minute?

"I make it up." Billeah said flatly.

"Oh… okay"

"What's this one here?" Pacifica asked. She highlighted a folder that said _Reverse Falls_.

"That one…" Billeah said, looking uncomfortable. "Everyone switches places. Dipper and Mabel work at the Tent of Telepathy. You and Gideon are cousins and live here with Gideon's dad…"

"That… sound odd." She said. "I remember Gideon from around town… isn't he in prison for that giant robot thing?"

"Yea.. something like that." Billeah said. "So, you are… like Mabel… but… more." She said softly.

"Hrm… well, nothing ventured." She said and opened the folder. She saw the first file labeled _New Girl in Town_

OoOoO

Pacifica stared out of the greyhound bus as it pulled into Gravity Falls. She was looking forward to spending the summer with her cousin. She never got to see him often and really enjoyed hanging out with him.

Pacifica grabbed her bags, hefted them out of the bus and let out a squeal as she slammed into Gideon, her chubby faced cousin.

"Heya, Paz." he said as she squeezed the air out of him. "Good to … see you."

Buddy Gleeful gave her a welcoming hug and loaded her bags in the trunk of his car. They drove through town, and Pacifica stared wide eyed at the quaint town and it's inhabitants.

As they drove past a bookstore something… or someone... caught her eye.

A brown haired boy in a turquoise suit and cape was flipping through a book. A girl who was the spitting image of him leaned back against the brick wall, looking bored as could be. As Buddy drove by the two of them, the boy looked up from his book and locked eyes with her. She felt frozen in time as she stared at his glowing green eyes. They looked like the eyes of a predator who had seen its next meal.

She quickly hid under the seat and covered her head.

"What was _that?_ " She harshly whispered.

"What was what?"

"Those two kids… around our age in the turquoise?" She explained, sitting back up.

"Oh...the Pines Twins… They're local celebrities and the direct competitors to my Dad's Mystery Shack. They do a show three times a week for tourists and do mind games and such. They're complete crazy psychos." Gideon explained.

"Oh." she said.

"Don't get any weird ideas. I know how much you like making friends, but they're the worst kind to make. Stay away from them."

"Okay." She said and left it at that.

OoOoO

"So… Mabel and Dipper are… crazy?" Pacifica asked.

"Yes… no… they have issues and experienced a different set of life events. This is how they turn out." Billeah explained.

"Oh." Pacifica said. She continued to read.

OoOoO

Pacifica wore the oversized neon llama shirt that fell over her shoulder and had a neon pink scrunchie in her hair. She walked up and down the craft store aisle, her flip flops echoing in her ear as her Babba tape played Disco Girl.

She danced to the music, and dodged people as she threw glitter, glue sticks and packs of paper into her basket. During a very impressive maneuver she was sliding backwards shaking her booty when it slammed into something. Her basket and half the shelf next to her came crashing down around her. In her efforts to dodge/catch everything, her flipflop folded on itself and she tumbled onto the object that interrupted her booty shake.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She cried out as she opened her eyes a pair of blue eyes glowered at her. She noticed the pair of eyes had a Big Dipper birthmark above them, and a scowling face below them.

"Are you finished?" said the boy under her.

"HA!" cackled someone above her. "Look at that brother, and you deny girls ever fall for you."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Pacifica stammered and rolled herself off the boy. To her horror his turquoise suit was now covered in pale pink glitter. She helped him up and tried to brush off as much as she could, but only managed to spread the offending sparkles over more of his outfit.

"We have… a show in fifteen minutes," the boy growled. "How am I supposed to get this fairy vomit off me?"

"Oh you know we'll manage, dear brother." she said. She grabbed Pacifica by the chin and turned her head to face the taller brown haired girl. "I think I may have found a new playmate…. what's your name, dear?"

Pacifica tried to give her the biggest smile she could, but her fingers were like iron, and inhibited the cute brace filled smile she worked on in the mirror.

"I"m Pacifica Northwest, I'm visiting for the summer. Gideon's my cousin!" She said through squished cheeks and extended her hand. They may be odd, but it's always polite to offer a hand in friendship.

"I think she's trying to establish contact with you, dear sister. You know what they say, if you feed them, they never go away." The boy said as he gathered his few items from the floor.

"Well, we can't be rude to a new member of our community," she cooed. A flyer appeared from a puff of smoke in her hand. She shoved it down Pacifica's shirt while still holding her chin "I'm Mabel… and the stick in the mud is my brother Dipper. Come by and see our show. I'm sure you'll find it… revealing"

Pacifica gave a tiny nod and tried to pull out of Mabel's grip. She leaned close to her face and stared her in the eyes. With her free hand, she plucked a strand of hair from her head and let her go.

"For all the trouble you caused…" she explained. Her brother rolled his eyes and looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Okay, I'll stop by and bring my cousin! I'm sure he'd love to come! He's really into the weird stuff like monsters and stuff. He couldn't shut up about this book he found all night and I was like _I need to sleep, you can talk about fire flowers later!"_ Pacifica rambled on.

The twins glanced at each other, they seemed to speak volumes between the two. Pacifica felt a cold chill running up her spine.

"Yes… bring Gideon." Dipper said. He walked forward with swagger and touched Pacifica's cheek. her heart almost skipped a beat at his touch. he leant down and stared into her soul. "I look forward to seeing you again… Pacifica"

With that, the twins took their leave. Pacifica's heart felt like it was going to beat out of her ribcage. She slid to the ground and sat in the middle of the chaos she wrought trying to figure out what just happened.

"Pacifica!" Gideon shouted from down the aisle. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Umm… yeah… I tripped." She said. She clutched the flyer to her chest, her heart beating like a rabbit. "We're not doing anything tomorrow are we?

OoOoO

"I have so many questions…" Pacifica said. Billeah shook her head no and closed the lid.

"I'll let you read the next one later." She said. "Dipper and Mabel are home."

"Okay… you going to come down?" She asked. Billeah shook her head no and sat back down in front of her laptop. The young girl's fingers danced across the keyboard and Pacifica took that as a sign to leave.

She shuddered at the thought of wearing a scrunchie in her hair and wearing 80's style neon clothes. Pushing the horrible images out of her head, she ran downstairs to meet up with Dipper and Mabel.


	7. Tongue Tied at the Tent-o-Telepathy (RF)

Pacifica sat on the porch swing with Dipper. Her legs were stretched out on his lap and she was updating her social media sites with a few cute pics of him reading the journal.

"I wish you'd stop that." Dipper said.

"But you look so cute… I have to share these before school starts." Pacifica replied.

Dipper sighed and flipped the page. She admired how smart the boy was, he was already going over some higher math classes that should be high school level for public school. She already took some AP classes in her all girls' private school, but she didn't like to show people her grades. It's one thing to keep up appearances, but if you let on you're more than a blond in pumps, things get… difficult.

He saw through that in a minute.

"I'm bored." Pacifica said. "Want to go traipse through the woods and almost get ourselves killed?"

"Can't…" Dipper said. He seemed to be blushing, but it was hard to see his expression when his eyepatch faced her.

"Oh, why not?" Pacifica prodded.

"Because." Dipper said.

"It's not like you got a hot date or anything." She chuckled and looked back to her phone. Dipper shoved his face in the book even deeper. "Dipper?"

"It's just… you showed up without calling…" He said.

She was ready to slam her heal in his crotch. She pulled the book down and glared at him.

"Wendy invited me to watch the new Godzilla movie. She's going to pick me up in about fifteen minutes." Dipper said sullenly.

She missed his crotch, but slammed his thigh.

"OW! What was that for?" Dipper cried out.

"I'm sorry, my foot slipped." She said with a huff and sat up.

"Look, I don't mind you coming around whenever." Dipper said, rubbing his thigh. "But I did make plans. You'd string me up if I bailed on you."

Pacifica crossed her arms with a huff. Her rage overflowed when she heard the sound of heavy metal getting closer, the familiar gravel crunch of the driveway announced Wendy's arrival in her pickup. Dipper got up, hopped over the rail and got in. He didn't even say goodbye or give her a hug!

"God I hate him sometimes…" She grumbled.

She watched as the two of them sped down the driveway and onto the main road. She listened till she couldn't hear the truck and the sounds of the forest around them filled her ears.

"Why am I doing this to myself?" She moaned and laid down on the porch swing.

Pacifica grabbed the pillow he was sitting on and buried her face in it. The frustrated tears she held back, she let go and quietly cried into the pillow.

She felt someone patting her hip and the swing rock as they sat next to her. God, she hoped it wasn't Mabel. The last thing she needed was her trying to "fix" things.

"There… there…" said a monotone voice.

Pacifica sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"God… how much did you see?" She said, sniffing her nose.

"Enough." She said and leaned over to give her a hug. "I know how you feel."

"Oh you do, huh?" She chuckled.

"I get jealous when he doesn't play with me." Billeah said. The way she said it was really weird. "But we have to share."

"I… don't share well." Pacifica said.

"I'm… learning how." Billeah said with a smile she pulled out her laptop and opened the folder that read _Reverse Falls._ She clicked open a file and handed it to Pacifica to read.

"Oh… um, okay," she said and looked at the title. "Tongue-tied at the Tent-o-telepathy"

OoOoO

Dipper slicked back his hair and adjusted his bolo tie. He made sure every strand was coiffed just so. He needed to show dominance out there.

"You keep staring and you're going to break the mirror." Mabel said. He looked in the mirror at his sister changing. He allowed himself a small grin as he watched her in her black panties pull up her fishnet leggings and slide into a high hip unitard. She looked over her shoulder and gave him a wink. "Perv."

He shrugged and went back to his own reflection. Mabel finished changing into her matching turquoise suit. Instead of pants like Dipper wore, her outfit was high cut around her hips. The outfit really accentuated her long and well-formed legs. She designed her outfits to model the ones magician assistants wear in Vegas. They always got the attention of the audience.

"Five minutes, kids." Stan said from outside the door.

Mabel sauntered over to her brother and draped her arms over his shoulders. She pressed her cheek against his and gazed into their reflection.

"We look fabulous don't we, brother?" She cooed and pinched his cheek. Dipper's face remained stone while Mabel traced his jawline and sat up. "You still mad you lost our game?"

"Let's get this over with. I need some supplies for my next ritual… Gnomes won't catch themselves and Jeff is being a little bastard this season. He knows the rules… I get a sacrifice a month." Dipper snapped. He stood abruptly and passed his sister who was looking at her nails.

"We'll rain down hellfire on their village later, we must pay the bills first." Mabel said.

 _Testing._

His sister's voice echoed in his head.

 _I hear you…_ he replied back.

With that, they exited their dressing room and stood on their marks behind the curtain.

"Seems we got a full house again." Mabel chuckled.

"Try not to fleece them too much?" Dipper said dryly. "We want returning visitors."

"They always come back…" Mabel chuckled. The green stone in her hair clip glowed momentarily. Dipper sighed and put on his plastic smile. The audience erupted in cheers as the curtains pulled to the sides. Dipper's voice boomed loud enough to fill the tent, enthralling everyone within earshot.

"Welcome… welcome…" he said in the best showman's voice he could muster. "Welcome to my humble Tent-o-Telepathy. I am your host… Dipper Pines, as is my beautiful… and available… sister Mabel!"

Mabel took a bow, and coyly put her hands over her lips to feign embarrassment at the wolf whistles erupting from the crowd.

"Three more years… fellas." Dipper said with a chuckle. "I know what you all are thinking"

 _You're so dead._

 _Now you can feel their greasy stares all over you… bitch._

"Alright… Let's give you what you came here for." Dipper said. He scanned the crowd and found a few choice marks.

An out of townie sat in front and had a vapid expression on his face.

"You, sir… How would you like to help me demonstrate my mental prowess?" Dipper said, and waved a hand to him. Mabel walked over and kissed his cheek, inducing more cat calls as she helped the gentleman up and maneuvered him on stage.

 _He's loaded._

 _We're not cleaning him out… it's too easily traceable._

"Alright sir. In your wallet, you have lots of numbers. They can be on credit cards, library cards, phone cards… pick one and show it to the audience." Dipper said.

The man pulled out a visa and showed everyone.

"Alright, now here's the calculator." Dipper said and handed him one. The screen behind him lit up and mirrored the screen in his hand. Dipper correctly guessed in seconds what the 16 digit number was multiplied by itself, divided by pi, square rooted, and so forth. It was a simple trick, since the mark was looking at the screen and giving him the answers… he just plucked it from his mind while he worked. He sent the man back to his seat with the audience cheering his participation.

"Mmm now, dear brother, it's my turn to pick a member of our audience." Mabel said. She waded into the sea of people while Dipper scanned everyone's mind, looking for anything he might take. A shock of Neon yellow and orange followed his sister. The high ponytail and slapping sound of flip flops sent him into a cold sweat.

 _NOT HER!_

 _Payback's a bitch._

Dipper grinned at the braces-filled smile of Pacifica. She overzealously waved at him while walking up the steps to the stage, caught her foot on the last step, and face planted.

"I'm okay!" she said and recovered from her fall. She chuckled and waved sheepishly to the audience who erupted in laughter. "HI GIDEON!"

Dipper locked eyes on the pudgy little kid wearing a blue pinetree hat. He pulled the cap down, trying to hide from his gaze.

"Well… Since my Brother had all the fun… this time I'll take a go at…" Mabel stopped and stared at Pacifica who sat on a stool and bounced, like she was a bottle of pent up energy ready to burst. "You… you can do it."

 _What?_

 _snicker Go ahead… why don't you take the lead with this one._

 _Why?_

 _Just because…_

Dipper didn't like it… he didn't like it one bit. The crowd waited patiently for someone to do something.

"Okay folks, My sister is going to let me lead her part of the show. Basically, we're going to use our mind reading skills to pull information out of are beautiful volunteer." Dipper said. He grabbed her hand and bowed, kissing the back of it.

How big of a mistake that was.

His mind was immediately flooded with thoughts and impressions.

 _Ohmygodohmyogodohmygodhekissedmyhandhe'ssocutebuthe'swierdwhyamithinkinglikethisandwhatabouthissisterwillshebemyfriendihopehedoesn'tthinki'mtooweirdandwhydoesgideonthinkthisplaceisstrangthisisacoolplacecoolthat'safunnywordliekbaconilikebaconbaconbaconbaconbaconohhpuprple!IshouldgetpurpledressesmadewhatwasIthinkingaboutagainohmygodhe'sstillstaringatmewhatdoIdowhatdoIsayactcoolactcoolactcoolbaconbaconbaconbacon._

Dipper broke the connection with a gasp and stumbled away. Her mind was a constant jumble of thought. He's poked into some people's heads, but nothing like this. She grinned and bounced, oblivious to the sheer onslaught she just gave him.

Who _was_ this girl?

"Um… well… that's a mighty busy brain you got up there."

"Oh! Can you guess what number I'm thinking?" Pacifica asked excitedly. Dipper smiled and nodded.

"Yes it's…3…4…..2… now 3 again and STOP SAYING BACON!"

Her eyes became wide as saucers.

"He's right… even about the Bacon part!" She said in awe. The crowd erupted in laughter. Dipper was getting annoyed. The jovial atmosphere was not conducive to his plans for this show. He was supposed to wow and mystify them… not act like some cheap circus act.

"Well Brother… enough playing with her… It's my turn…" Mabel said with a grin. Pacifica's eyes were locked on him and she nodded with whatever she was told. Mabel pulled out a massive target and positioned it behind Pacifica.

"Now dear… come stand here." She said and stood her in the center. "Don't move a hair."

Pacifica nodded eagerly. Mabel pulled out twelve wavy pointed daggers from behind her and proceeded to juggle them. Her gem was glowing slightly.

"This takes more concentration than one would think…" She said and threw a dagger behind her. It stuck inches from Pacifica's left ear. She paced the stage, keeping the daggers afloat in the air and randomly throwing them behind her. Pacifica showed no sign of fear or flinching at the deadly onslaught.

Dipper had to chuckle over the green faced Gideon. He was chewing on his hat and shaking like a leaf. There was an outline of Pacifica, and Mabel had one dagger left. She wound up like a baseball pitcher and threw it as hard as she could.

"OW!" Pacifica shouted and winced. She held her neck, and a small trail of blood trickled down. The crowed gasped at the injury.

"Are you okay dear?" Mabel said, with an almost motherly tone.

"Yeah, it's just a scratch… I'm okay!" She said cheerily. Dipper glowered at his sister.

 _What was that for? You never miss._

 _Who says I missed?_

 _What are you up to?_

 _Just… hedging my bets._

Mabel pulled the knife and tucked it away behind her and led Pacifica to center stage. The crowd cheered as she took a bow.

"Why don't you head backstage and wait for me to fix that up?" Mabel said. Pacifica nodded and gave her a hug. She headed to the back, paused for a moment then ran over to give Dipper a hug too. The crowed seemed favorable, much to Dipper's disdain, of the embrace.

The blond distraction hurried backstage while Dipper and Mabel finished the show. Stan came out and closed out the house, while selling the merchandise to the rest of the sheep.

In their dressing room. Mabel drizzled some water over the blade of the knife, allowing the blood to wash off into a vial.

"What do you want to do with her, brother?" Mabel said with a chuckle.

"I want _nothing_ to do with her." Dipper said. "Just send her away."

"Oh what's the fun in that? We can keep her as a pet. She can watch us play that game. I'm sure she'd love to see you lose." Mabel cooed.

"No." Dipper said.

"You worried about Gideon? He's a marshmallow." Mabel said with a sigh.

"He has a journal, can't you feel it?" Dipper snapped. "We need to find it so we can get to the next step at figuring out…"

A birdcage shook franticly, interrupting Dipper's train of thought.

"Shut up, Bill!" they shouted in unison.

"You told her to come back here… we better show up before she snoops." Dipper said. Mabel held her finger out, indicating he stay for a moment. She poured the water into a small mortar and pestle, added some herbs and the strand of hair she had. She quickly mixed together the ingredients and added them to a teacup. Pouring hot water into a cup, she steeped the tea until the water was a murky brown.

"She should be more agreeable after this." Mabel said with a chuckle. "Even if you don't want to play with her… it's still good to keep a few enthralled on hand."

Dipper shrugged. He didn't care. He followed his sister out of the dressing room and into the backstage area where the food table was. Pacifica had already helped herself to what looked to be her second plate of the meats and cheeses. Her neck was already adorned with six kitten paw Band-Aids that covered the cut. She was in mid-bite when she saw them and choked for a moment. Rapidly pounding on her chest, she forced the food down.

"Oh hi! I'm sorry! Did I eat too much? I didn't know how long you were going to take, so I helped myself because I figured there was only two of you and this is like… for thirty people and you wouldn't mind because you're so awesome! Did you meet my cousin? He's around here somewhere, but he's gone and I think he's in the bathroom. I don't think he's GOING to the bathroom, but he looked queasy so I'd watch where you step if he's feeling sick to his stomach."

Mabel looked like she was ready to claw out her vocal cords.

"Pacifica, you all right?" Dipper asked… not that he really cared. He would have cared if his sister hit her jugular and stained his suit. Blood is so hard to get out of clothes. "I'm sorry my sister was _careless_."

"Are you kidding? That was awesome! I never had knives thrown at my head before! I knew it was all right… I mean… you wouldn't _MURDER_ someone onstage and call it part of the show or anything… then take the dead body to some underground chamber and perform dark unholy rituals to nameless gods that are an affront to all that is good in this world!"

 _She knows too much! Make her drink the tea!_

"My, you have an active imagination" Dipper said, and put his hand over the tea, stopping his sister from grabbing her throat and pouring the scalding liquid down her throat while she sputters and gags from the pain. His sister's mental projections were really strong today. He took the cup from her hand and held it. "Are you feeling thirsty? We made you some tea. It's imported, so I'm sure you've never tasted anything like it before."

Mabel sat on a couch next to the Kraft table and patted the seat next to her. Pacifica sat down and beamed at the girl.

"You know… other than Dipper and the lady who works at the counter at the Shack… Tambry, You guys have been the nicest to me!" Pacifica said. She took the cup and sniffed it. Her nose crinkled and she shuttered. "It does smell… imported."

Dipper chuckled at the vision of gym socks that he picked up from her.

"Yeah, it does smell like old socks, but it will really help if you drink it."

Pacifica raised the cup to her lips…

"PAZ!" screamed an out of breath Gideon. "Been… looking… all over… for you!"

Dipper swore to himself as she set the cup down.

"I've been sitting here the whole time… waiting for you."

"Figured… you'd… have… wandered… off." He said catching his breath.

"Gideon…" Dipper said dryly. "Enjoy the show?"

"YOU THREW KNIVES AT MY COUSIN YOU CRAZY WOMAN!" Gideon shouted. Dipper was amused how quickly the bravado fled as Mabel's piercing gaze stared the tiny man down. Dipper didn't even see her draw the knife.

 _Thunk_

"AH!" Gideon screamed as he stared at the dagger buried in the wood between his legs.

 _THUNK THUNK_

Two more daggers appeared at the sides of his feet. The boy looked like he would lose his bowels then and there. Pacifica erupted in laughter.

"Oh come on… she's a professional… I was safe!" Pacifica chuckled. "Besides, she wouldn't hurt her friend."

Dipper was taking a sip from a water bottle when the statement left Pacifica's lips. The choking fit he had seemed to only fuel the blond girl's laughter. Dipper had dropped his bottle of water, and reached for anything he could find to clear his throat.

He tasted gym socks.

Mabel stared wide eyed at him and erupted in a fit of laughter to match Pacifica's. He stared in horror at a kitten mug in his hand and the burning taste of god knows what his sister brewed up.

He was done.

"OUT! OUT! OUT!" He bellowed. Gideon grabbed his cousin and pulled her to the exit door. She was purple from laughing so hard. Gideon had to shove her out and slam the door shut. His sister's face was the same shade, she couldn't breathe. She pointed to the cup and fell off the couch on the floor gasping for air.

"I'm glad you find this humorous…. What's going to happen to me?" Dipper said, and kicked her side. His sister grinned and shrugged.

"Was meant for her to drink… not you. Could be nothing… could be… anything. We're just going to have to find out!" Mabel said. Her giggling fit subsided. She pressed herself against her brother and clawed his cheek to pull his ear to her lips. "Someone's in trouble…"

She slapped his cheek, grabbed his bolo tie and yanked on it tightly. He felt lightheaded as it constricted around his throat. Mabel tugged on it like a collar and pulled him into their dressing room. It was time to play the game.

OoOoO

"What's this 'game' they talk about?" Pacifica asked.

"They have a complicated past… It's nothing like what you're probably thinking… but I don't want to spoil it." Billeah said.

"This word… is really creepy." Pacifica admitted. Reading about how cold and calculating Dipper was in her story unsettled her. She noticed moments when she's with him where he could almost be like that. He had such a good heart and really cared about everyone… but what if they weren't there for him? Could he turn out like this Dipper?

"He's back." Billeah said and pulled the laptop from her. She shuffled inside as Wendy's truck pulled up. She honked and waved at Pacifica, who smiled and waved back. Niceties must be met.

Dipper gave Wendy a hug and jogged up the stairs holding a large tub of popcorn. Wendy drove away, leaving the two of them alone.

"How was your movie?" Pacifica asked, her frustration over him rearing its head again.

"Hey…look, I'm sorry I left that way. I get it if you're mad." Dipper said, he couldn't look her in the eye as he was talking. "You… I was worried about you the whole time. I didn't want you mad at me."

Pacifica closed her eyes and blew out her frustration. Dipper didn't do anything wrong. She slumped down and patted the seat next to her.

"I'm the one who should apologize. I got mad for no reason." She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. To her surprise, Dipper wrapped his arm around her and held her.

"Look… we're all friends okay?" Dipper said. "I know this whole normal person hangout thing is still new and I won't stop being your friend just cause I hang out with Wendy."

"You need some guy friends." Pacifica said with a chuckle.

"Don't I know it." Dipper laughed.


	8. Surprise Encounter (Reverse Falls)

A/N:

Remember these events are peppered throughout the timeline proceeding up to and during Invictus. If you have not read Invictus yet, some of this may contain spoilers. (any math mentioned is made up… if you have an actual solution for me to use, I'll edit and update… I am being lazy)

OoOoO

Pacifica was listening to the math teacher drone on about angles of something. All she knew was she was bored.

"Miss Northwest… could you answer this problem on the board if you're so inclined to let everyone know how enthralled you are with my lecture?" He said. Pacifica rolled her eyes. She didn't like to admit to everyone how smart she was, but this was stuff she learned from the tutors Daddy made her work with. She wanted to go to school with Dipper, not this stuffy private school. She couldn't wait for the weekend to see her friends in Gravity Falls.

"Yeah, since that line is forty three and that angle is twenty degrees that makes those other lines thirteen and fifteen with another sixty degrees there and twenty degrees there." She said and sighed.

"Very good." The teacher said "Although I wish I saw more enthusiasm from you, at least I know I'm getting through somehow."

Pacifica nodded and checked her phone. The math teacher glared at her. She returned the glare with a raised eyebrow and a glance at the problem she just answered on the board. He sighed and went back to his lecture. He could gripe all he wanted, but if she's getting an A in his class he should allow her some leeway. She opened up the group message with her friends in it.

 _P - I'm dying in math… come get my body._

 _D - Awww. Poor Paz!_

 _P - I hate that name…_

 _W - Paci?_

 _P - No!_

 _C - Pazzazzle?_

 _P - Stop…_

 _B - Pazatronic?_

 _P - I know where you live._

 _M - Razamapaz?_

 _P - Mabel… I will cut off your sprinkle allowance._

 _M - NOOOOOooo._

Pacifica smiled at her friend's dramatic nature. A private message popped up from Billeah. Curiously she opened the file.

 _:-) – Reverse Falls – Surprise_

 _P - Thanks!_

 _B - YW_

Pacifica opened the file. The Reverse Falls stories were something Billeah and her shared. She was looking forward to reading the next one, but Billeah seemed very guarded as to when and where she'll show them to her. She's gotten used to just not asking anymore and knowing that when Billeah decides she's ready, she'll send one to her.

 **OoOoO**

Pacifica slowly crept up on her pasty cousin. He was in the attic reading his journal, oblivious to everything around him. She memorized where the creaks in the floorboards were and stealthily moved around them. She hovered over her prey like a jaguar on a branch, ready to pounce on an unsuspecting chimpanzee.

"RAWR" She screamed and tickled Gideon.

"AH!" he screamed and erupted in giggles as her fingers snaked their way to all his documented tickle spots. His normally pale completion turned bright red as he couldn't breathe. He gasped for air, and she let up allowing him to retrieve his inhaler.

"You… can kill me… that way!" he said trying to catch his breath.

"Oh don't be such a baby… I'm bored." She said. "You figure out any cool magic spells in that thing?"

"No!" Gideon stammered. "Well, there's some magic, but not what you're thinking. It's a journal. The author wrote his thoughts and observations for things. It's like a field guide that just shows where to find things and what their properties are. The problem is that there's not much in way of actually using the stuff. You're supposed to know the basics already…. For example, this fire flower. If you pick it, you can use it for a salve that makes you flame retardant. You can swim in lava with it! But, it doesn't say how to make the potion, just the ingredient has that properties. I suspect if I ever find the first or second journal, it will explain some of this more."

"Nerd." Pacifica said and booped his nose.

"Hey!" Gideon said indignantly. "This stuff is not easy!"

"So… get some help?" She said with a smile.

"From who? Who else can I go to with questions about…." Gideon said. He seemed to read her face like the journal. "No… no no no. NO!"

"He's into freaky deaky weird things… besides, I think a little collaboration might be just what we…er, you need."

"I will NOT be a party to your twisted crush with the most psychotic boy in town!" Gideon stammered.

"Oh, you're just afraid of his sister… she's harmless and really likes you." Pacifica grinned. "Gideon and Mabel sitting in a tree."

" G..." Gideon finished. "Because that's what she'll do to me!"

"You're no fun! I want to learn all about magic and stuff, The Pines seems to know about it and you have a book that you can only understand half of… I don't see the problem here!" Pacifica threw herself on the bed and sighed.

"The problem is the Pines are not to be trusted. If they knew about this book, who knows what torturous things might happen to me… err, us." Gideon said.

"Fine… I'm going out." Pacifica said and threw on a coat.

"Okay…" Gideon said and waved her off.

 **O8O8O**

"Stupid cousin… hogging his little magic book. " Pacifica grumbled as she trudged through the woods. Who cares if there's thing out here that could eat her whole? Gideon doesn't care if she's eaten. All he wants to do is cower away and read his stupid book only to be scared of most of the things out here.

"Shmebulock!" shrieked a voice.

"Stop squirming… Jeff surely had a reason to send you my way…. And I can see why now." Said a familiar voice. Pacifica's heart raced. What was he doing way out here?

"SHMEBULOCK!" screamed another familiar voice. If she sees Jeff, she's going to have a few words for the little poop head.

Pacifica read to the arguing voice and burst out into a clearing. Shmebulock was tied to some sort of stone, and Dipper was holding one of his sister's throwing knives.

"Stop squirming or I'm going to puncture what I need!" Dipper said. Pacifica watched in awe as the stone around his neck glowed blue green and the squirming gnome froze in terror.

"What are you doing to Shmebulock?" Pacifica screamed in horror. Dipper spun around in surprise to see her. He sheepishly tried to hide the dagger behind him.

"Oh, um… what are you doing out here?" He said with a huff.

"I live near here… what are you doing with a gnome?"

"Harvesting some materials for an experiment I want to run. I need to get his stomach." Dipper said and moved his knife to a sharpie dotted line across the terrified gnome's exposed belly.

"What would you want with a gnome's belly?" She asked, more out of curiosity than in horror.

"Well, not the stomach itself, but what's inside." He said.

"Oh is that all?" Pacifica said with a grin.

"Yes… now can I cut him open and be done with it?" Dipper said.

"No… cut him loose. I'll get it out of him." She grinned. Dipper looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want him to run away…" he said. "Jeff and I have an agreement."

"Oh… he won't be able to run… I just have a better extraction method." Pacifica giggled. The glow around Shmebulock disappeared.

"I'll try it your way, but he'll have one foot tied to the rock." Dipper said.

"Agreed." Pacifica replied. She took a few steps back. "You… have a bucket or some gallon plastic bags?"

Dipper held up a gallon freezer bag.

"Hand it to him please." She said, Dipper did as he was told. Shmebulock looked at Pacifica and all color drained from his face.

"Shmeb… Shmebulock!" He stammered and pointed to the dagger. "Shmebulock!"

"I don't know what you're up to, but it seems like he'd rather me cut out his stomach than what you're about to do… You've piqued my interest girl." Dipper said coyly.

Pacifica took a running sprint and kicked as hard as she could. Dipper winced as her aim was true. Shmebulock was lifted a good foot in the air as her foot landed between his legs. His face turned green and he opened the bag and barfed a gallon of rainbows.

"Yeah… Tell Jeff that I'm gonna do that to every one of your kind if I ever see him again!"

"Shmeb…. bu… lock…" he said and passed out. Dipper made a note in some pad and put it back in his jacket pocket. Even all the way out here, he was still dressed to the nines.

"This way seems much easier… thanks. I may just trap a few and let Mabel have some fun. She's always loved to… nevermind" Dipper said. Pacifica arched an eyebrow quizzically at his last statement.

"So… what do you want a bag of barf rainbows for?"

"I'm experimenting with some things." He said and headed off into the woods. Pacifica followed him

"Oh really? What sort of things?" Pacifica asked.

"My question is how do you know Shmebulock by name?" Dipper said gruffly.

"Well… funny story. That's not the first time I kicked him there… well I caused something to strike that region." She said and wrapped her arm around his. He looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. She looked up at him and grinned. "Can't a distressed damsel be escorted by her knight?"

"I find myself far from being knightly… why did you hit Shmebulock in the nether regions before… and hard enough to find a more optimal way to harvest liquid rainbows?"

"How do the colors not mix?" Pacifica asked, squishing the bag and sloshing it everywhere. "That's just unsettling."

"You're off topic." Dipper said.

"What? Oh, Gnomes? They posed as a zombie and asked me out my second day here. They were so nice and kind… but when I was going to move it to the next level… turns out he wasn't a zombie at all, but a bunch of gnomes standing on each other! They wanted me to marry the WHOLE GNOME KINGDOM and all of them share me as a wife! I think that's illegal even in Utah!" She grimaced.

"You were ready to go steady with a zombie on the second date?" Dipper looked down at her with shock.

"I think someone's off topic." Pacifica giggled. "Besides… I was young and infatuated. I'm not the type to just latch onto the first cute guy I see."

Dipper tried to pull his arm away, but gave up. He let out an annoyed sigh, the one that Pacifica thought was so cute. They continued walking down whatever trail Dipper was following.

"How good are you with a butterfly net?" Dipper asked.

"You have to ask?" She said. She didn't know where he pulled one out from, but he handed her an old looking butterfly net. It was made of wood and somewhat heavy. It felt warm to the touch.

"We're going to a cave over here. I'm going to scare some out and you're going to catch them. I need a pair or two pair at the least."

"What are we getting?" She asked.

"You'll see," Dipper said with a grin.

He sat her outside the cave mouth and wandered in. There were greenish blue sparks and an eerie sound, like the beating of wings.

"What is…?" Pacifica started to say when a flock of eyeballs with batwings swarmed out. She franticly swung back and forth, left and right. When the eyeballs were gone, she looked into her net and had bagged six!

"Woohoo! Six!" She jumped up and down. Dipper pulled out a Mason jar from behind his back and shoved them inside.

"Where are you keeping all of that?" She asked.

"Hammerspace" Dipper said dryly and put the mason jar and the net behind his back. It disappeared. Pacifica looked under his cape and didn't see a thing. He had to be using magic to teleport them somewhere.

"What's Hammerspace?" She asked, poking his back. She hit a spot where he's ticklish and he squirmed out of reach. She looked up quickly to see a stray smile that was quickly snuffed out with an indignant look.

"It's complicated… let's get a move on shall we?" He said. She fell in beside him and grabbed his arm.

"So… where shall we go next on our impromptu date?" Pacifica grinned. Dipper seemed to have tripped on something as he stumbled for a moment but caught himself.

"Our _what?_ " he said dryly.

"Outing?" She corrected herself.

"Oh… I need some deer parts." He said. "You might want to go home for this one."

"As in… parts of a deer?" Pacifica said. "Like…"

"Like the squishy insides of a deer… heart, liver, blood… brains." Dipper said and looked down at her. She felt sick to her stomach.

"And… how…gurk are you going to get these parts?" She said as her pace slowed down.

"How else does one get brains from a deer?" He said. "I thought you were up for this?"

Pacifica fell back as he walked ahead. He stopped and turned to face her.

"What's the matter?" He asked. She looked at him once again. He was serious! There was no remorse or sense of empathy to what he was saying. It was like going to the grocery store and picking up a pack of hamburger to him! The thought of killing and cutting open a deer just seemed unsettling to her. She felt really sick at the idea.

"I… I don't feel so well." She said and sat down. Her hands were trembling. She heard a heavy sigh and footsteps. To her surprise, the steps got closer, not farther away. With a grunt he plopped next to her.

"Are you going to be all right?" He asked. He sounded annoyed, but there was a hint of concern.

"Why are you going to kill a cute deer and get it's…" she gulped. Dipper offered her a bottle of water. She took a few drinks and nodded her head. "Why do you need them?"

"Blood magic requires blood." He said matter-of-factly.

"So you do do magic huh?" Pacifica grinned.

"Yeah…" Dipper said cautiously. "I figured you knew that."

"Well, I never had a full on confession from you… I just suspected. Especially with what Gideon always says. He's a big stingy butt with his book anyways."

"Oh?" Dipper said. "What book is that?"

"Oh he found this old book with stuff in it. He says I can't really use stuff in it to learn simply because it's like a notebook and not a how-to manual."

"So he has an old grimoire?" Dipper asked.

"What's that?" Pacifica asked.

"It's like a journal or diary. The wizards make notes of what they find in it." Dipper said.

"Yeah… he found something like that, but he said there's a lot of information, but not really any instructions on how to use the stuff. It's got the number 3 on it, so he thinks there are more books with better instructions."

"A number 3 huh?" Dipper said, rubbing his chin. "I'd like to take a look at it sometime. Do you think you can steal it away from him? I'm sure I can compensate you."

A chill that ran up her spine when Dipper said that.

"I… no… I won't do that to him. If he agrees to share it with you, that's his choice. I won't go against him like that." Pacifica said. Dipper grunted. "Don't get the wrong idea… I'd do the same for you. You need to be loyal to your friends!"

"I can hear the deer up ahead." Dipper said. "Just stay here till I'm done."

He stood up, but Pacifica grabbed his cape and held it. She knew he could yank out of her grip at any time. He stayed where he was.

"You're quite troublesome." Dipper said with a sigh. She pulled a little harder, looking at her feet. He sat next to her with a huff. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered. To her surprise, she felt his arm wrap around her. Her head slid from his shoulder to his chest.

"Don't get used to this." Dipper growled. She ignored the stray comment and hugged him. "Is your stomach feeling better?"

"Yeah… is there anything else you need to gather that doesn't involve evisceration?" Pacifica asked.

"No… not really." Dipper said.

"Okay. I don't know how to get home." Pacifica said looking around. Dipper sighed.

"Okay… follow me and don't get lost."

Pacifica followed him back to the Mystery Shack. She watched as he disappeared into the woods, leaving her at the door.

"Where were you?" Gideon asked.

"Just out… hey, does your book say anything about flying eyeballs?" She giggled.

"You found them?" Gideon said excitedly.

"Yeah… I think I can take you back to the cave. Want to go tomorrow?" She asked. Gideon nodded. She may not fully understand what Gideon and Dipper knew, but she's more than happy to help the two of them. Maybe she might be able to pick up a thing or two!

OoOoO

Pacifica finished reading the story with a smile. Even evil Dipper could be sweet sometimes. She can't wait to read the next one.

 _P – Thanks! That was great!_

The bell rang, letting her out of class. She said a few hollow hellos to key classmates and headed to lunch. It was all she could do to make it to the weekend. It felt each day here, the pieces of her humanity are chipped away. She smiled at a Text from Dipper. It was a snapshot of everyone on the couch watching Duck-tective

 _D – Wish you were here. We'll see you this weekend!_

Just that little bit will help her make it through the night.


	9. A Strange Tale of Birds and Bees

**A/N: This story takes place right after Reboot. The kids are still getting to know each other and are around 12/13. Most of the rivalry that takes place in Invictus has not really been addressed or personally acknowledged by Pacifica and Wendy.**

 **Also! I will be moving the Reverse Pines stories to their own book. They will be cleaned up, re-edited, and added with new content. I love the relationship between BIlleah and Pacifica, but i'm finding it repetitious trying to find cute and funny ways of having Billeah send the stories to Paz. All we really need to know is that these stories were read by Pacifica from the end of Reboot all the way through Invictus. I may add an epilogue when I'm done with them to tie together the two... but that's if I remember or really want to.**

Mabel ran through the halls of her home squealing in delight.

Sleepovers were a common occurrence at the Pine's, yet she was always excited to see her friends. She bolted upstairs, not worrying about the stomping that echoed in the halls. She ripped open her brother's door and let out a high pitched squeal.

"What's gotten into you?" Dipper asked dryly. He scratched under his eye-patch, something that always churned her stomach. She loved him dearly and over the years she had gotten used to his burns and scars but whenever he played with his eye it always bugged her.

"Could you stop that?" She asked with an almost dry heave gag.

"What? This?" he said and lifted the patch. Not only did she see the milky white cataract stare at her, he proceeded to touch and rub the eyeball!

"GROSS!" Mabel screamed and turned away.

"What do you want?" Dipper asked.

"Girls are coming over." She said with renewed enthusiasm.

"Okay…" her brother said, returning to the book he was reading. "The girls are always coming over."

"It's a slumber party." Mabel bounced on her heels.

"Okay, they always have slumber parties." Dipper retorted.

"No… we have sleepovers… this is a SLUMBER PARTY." Mabel reiterated. Her brother was smart, but dense… sometimes you needed to spell things out.

"Enlighten me the difference." He said.

"Just one difference… No boys!" Mabel said and stuck her tongue out. She felt a little sad at the brief look of disappointment.

"Kay, guess I'll just chill in the library and stay out of your hair." Dipper said with almost a sulking tone.

"You can say hi to them when they get here! I'm not banishing you… just… stay out of my room and try not to listen to all the girly gossip." Mabel said. "You wouldn't want to be in the middle of the braid train… or getting your toes painted… or talking about boys… unless you have a boy you want to talk about? Have you heard from Mermando recently?"

Dipper blushed at the mention of her mermaid boyfriend.

"I think I'll be fine… go and have fun." Dipper said with a stoic smile.

Mabel heard the doorbell. She ran into her brother's room, tackle hugged him and ran to get the door.

"Heya!" She greeted Candy and Grenda. Candy had her hands full with a storage containers and Grenda held two bags of snacks.

"Go on upstairs! We're waiting on Wendy and Pacifica." Mabel said. Candy and Grenda took the familiar route to her room. Just as she started to close the door, she heard the sound of crunching gravel as a car approached. The stretch limousine pulled up to the house and let out Wendy and Pacifica. The blond debutante waved off her butler and followed Wendy up the porch steps.

"Welcome to my humble abode…" Mabel said with a bow.

"You realize we come here like… three times a week?" Wendy said with a chuckle.

"But… this is a SLUMBER PARTY" Mabel re-iterated. "Not just a normal visit or sleepover… there are rules that must be followed!"

From under her sweater she pulled out a massive tome that resembled Dipper's journal that read _Mabel's Guide to Super Awesome Parties!_ Various colored bookmarks and tabs jutted out. She deftly flipped to the page on slumber parties and shoved the pages in Wendy and Pacifica's faces. They both raised an eyebrow simultaneously and giggled.

"Whatever… it's your show." Wendy said.

"I see… there's a no boys rule." Pacifica said disappointedly.

"Oh, he's not banned, just… his movements have been restricted to his room and the library. Visitations are open till nine when the party moves to my room." Mabel said. She didn't want to totally cut her brother off, but she wanted to be the center of attention for once.

Wendy moved past Mabel and headed up stairs. Pacifica looked down the hall to the kitchen.

"Where's your cousin?" She asked.

"Upstairs. I dunno if she's going to join us or not. I told her but well… she's Billeah." Mabel said. "Let's get this party started!"

Mabel set out the snacks in her room and they all chatted about the events of the week. Wendy excused herself much to the dismay of Pacifica. Her blond friend waited for almost twenty minutes before chasing after her unofficial rival. She loved that they both never really admitted to each other or themselves what's really going on when it was so obvious. Poor Candy.

"Oh! It's before nine o'clock. Can we grab your brother and play spin the bottle?" Candy asked with a raised hand.

"Well… I think the odds would be way too much in his favor. Plus, if we take turns, it's a 6/1 chance one of us would land on him, and we'd have to kiss each other." Mabel giggled. Candy gave her a rather sly grin. What was that for?

"Sorry, I must save my lips for Marius." Grenda said flatly. "As much as I would love to make out with your brother… I must follow my heart."

"Good for you, Grenda!" Mabel said with a thumbs up.

"Just because I'm on a diet… doesn't mean I can't watch someone else eat…" She said mischievously. Mabel slapped her forehead.

"No Dipper attacks tonight! It's just us girls!" Mabel said. "If we talk about our lust after guys… they must be unobtainable! UNOBTAINABLE!" With that she grabbed a stack of boy band magazines and tossed them in the air "Behold! The men of our desires!"

Mabel heard protesting down the hall. It got closer rather quickly. Pacifica and Wendy were arguing with each other and kept looking behind them.

"Inside… you're grounded." Said a soft voice.

"The nerve of you!" Pacifica shouted. "I was in the middle of talking!"

"It's 9:00… inside." Billeah said and pointed to the open door to her room. "Dipper is off limits to you."

"Hey, just because it's Mabel's curfew doesn't mean you had to drag us up here!" Wendy protested.

"Off… limits." Billeah said and shut the door behind her. She gave the two of them her creepy 'you don't want me awake while your asleep' smile. They fell into line and retreated where Candy and Grenda sat.

"Your cousin scares the crap outa me" Wendy whispered to her.

"Oh, she's harmless…. I think." Mabel said. Wendy shivered at Mabel's comment and picked up a magazine. Pacifica absentmindedly flipped through some pages of a teen magazine and sighed.

Mabel orchestrated the party like a conductor to her symphony. They made bracelets and ate junk food. There was a rule that this was a Dipper free zone, so anyone who even mentioned her brother got a face full of popcorn.

After a few hours, everyone seemed to have wound down and began to get bored.

"Well, I think we went through everything in your party book Mabel." Pacifica said, she flipped through the pages and seemed to mentally check off everything on the list. "oh… you skipped something."

"What? Me? I did not!" Mabel said, offended by the notion she would dare forget something as important as an item on the list.

"Story time." Pacifica grinned.

"Oh… that's really for like ten year old sleepovers…" Mabel said nervously. Wendy and Pacifica looked at each other and grinned ear to ear. "What… are you…"

"You have your laptop, Billeah?" Wendy asked. Everyone gasped.

"No… you wouldn't!" Mabel said in horror.

"What kind of weird story you got going on right now?" Wendy said coolly, giving Mabel a mischievous grin. "I bet you got something… juicy"

"Well… I started one… it's not finished." She said shyly.

"OH! OH! I have an idea!" Candy said, her hand shooting in the air and waving around.

"You have the floor, Candy." Pacifica said.

"Why don't we all help her finish the story? In school, we took a paper and someone wrote a bit, and passed it to the next person who wrote some, and so on until the story was finished!" Candy explained. Billeah hid her face behind her laptop and shook her head no.

"That actually sounds really fun." Pacifica admitted.

"Well… I dunno. I know you guys and you're all going to be 'Bla bla bla… Dipper this, Dipper that.'" Mabel mocked.

"No… What are you talking about?" Pacifica said indignantly.

"Yeah, I don't know what you mean. He's cool… that's… all," Wendy retorted.

"You two… both… are going to sit here… in the middle of the sacred slumber party circle and LIE to your friends about this? Just like that?" Mabel demanded in a huff. "My brother may be an idiot, but I'm not!"

Mabel stormed over to Billeah and tore the laptop away. Ignoring the blushing faces of Wendy and Pacifica.

"At least Candy will admit she'd tie Dipper up and have her way with him if she ever had the chance!" Mabel said.

"I _so_ would…" Candy said with a grin. "Rawr!"

"Fine… I'm starting!" She said in a huff and sat down. Billeah reached desperately for her laptop only to be held back by Grenda. "Let's see what we got here…. I'll read what she started and we'll go from there. We each have ten minutes to write."

Mabel pulled out an egg timer and set it next to her.

"So… the title is: Dipper's Bad Day… by Billeah Pines…. Mabel Pines… Pacifica Northwest… Wendy Corduroy… Candy Chiu… and… Grenda von Fundshauser."

"That's the name I'm going to have when I'm married!" Grenda piped in.

"Oh this is going to be fun." Mabel said deviously

OoOoO

Dipper Pines, adventurer, sat at his desk and poured over the latest tome he had unearthed in the recent foray into the Gravity Falls woods.

Only suffering mild scratches from the hordes of goblins that chased him; our brown haired, cyclopean hero stoically translated the ancient text and gasped in horror at the results.

"Billeah!" he shouted. His perky blond haired assistant bounced up to him in her charming Victorian dress. She leaned over his shoulder to read.

"What is it, sir?" She asked. Dipper rubbed his stubbly chin and made a note to shave his three day growth.

"This text… it has a prophecy!" He said dramatically.

"Oh no! What does it say?" Billeah asked.

"Simply put… bad luck comes for those who steal this book." Dipper lamented, pressing the back of his palm to his forehead dramatically.

"Does it say anything else?" the perky assistant asked.

"Well… no… the book is cursed and gives you back luck if you steal it." Dipper explained.

"But… why would someone curse a book if there's nothing in there except the curse? Was the curse protecting something or was someone just being really really stupid and practicing a curse on an empty book? Was it made by some pissed off librarian who just hated the kids who stole her books?"

"I… don't know." Dipper said. "Oh no! The bad luck has already started! Stay away! I don't want you to suffer my fate!"

As if on cue, the lights of the Mystery Shack went out.

"You forgot to pay the electric bill didn't you, sir?" Billeah asked.

"… Yeah…"

"I'll go get the candles and start dinner… luckily we have a gas stove. Clean up your desk and meet me in the kitchen." Billeah ordered. Dipper lit an oil lantern and sat it on his desk. He proceeded to clean up and organize his notes and moaned at the smell of roast warming in the oven.

Dipper set the table for him and Billeah. He took a sneak peek inside the kitchen and his heart warmed watching her dote about, making dinner. He was so glad to have met her, she filled a part of his life he desperately needed. If only he had the courage to say it to her.

It was years ago when he found her alone and abandoned in a box outside Greasy's diner. She had no idea who she was, and her amnesia had never lifted all those years ago. She found a home with him and they were a family.

As Billeah set out the dinner, there was a knock on the door.

"Sit down, sir… I'll get it!" Billeah insisted. Dipper sat and cut himself a piece of roast. It smelled delicious!

"Dipper!" Billeah cried out. It only took a moment to rush to the door and he stared dumbfounded at a woman with long hair wearing a pink sweater with a shooting star on it. The intruder was soaked and shivering from the torrential downpour outside but her face was shrouded in darkness.

"Who is this, sir?" Billeah asked.

"The author of the scrapbooks… the one I've searched for so many years…." Dipper said dramatically "My sister!"

As if on cue, a lightning bolt illuminated a soggy face with running mascara from the rain and a shivering lip. Her face was a spitting image of Dipper's.

OoOoO

Billeah had covered her face with a pillow. Mabel's friends erupted in laughter.

"Where was all this heading?" Pacifica said, wiping away a tear.

"Dipper is an explorer and globetrotter," Billeah explained from under her pillow. "He delves into long lost tombs and recovers their treasures. His sister was lost for years after a tragic boat accident and he has searched for her ever since."

Grenda put her large arm around the hiding Billeah.

"It's okay, it's a cool start for a story." She consoled.

"Alright… kid gloves off… I'm setting the timer!" Mabel announced. She turned the clock to ten minutes and began to read out loud as she typed.

OoOoO

Soaked to the bone, Mabel shivered in the doorway staring at her long lost brother.

"Can I come in or you going to stare at me all night?" Mabel snapped. Her brother was just as dense as always.

"Oh!" Dipper said and moved out of the way to let his sister into his home.

"Nice place you got here." Mabel said, looking around. The blond haired girl rushed down the hall and returned immediately with a towel.

"We need to get you out of these clothes!" she said and led her to the bathroom. Mabel got changed into an old tracksuit of her brother's and returned to the dining room while the blond girl started the wash.

"So what happened all these years?" Dipper asked, handing her a cup of cocoa.

"Oh, after the boat accident I clung to a sea turtle. It led me to an island. I took over the population with my charm alone and they were able to island hop me to civilization. From there I had to work odd jobs for years to save enough money to smuggle myself to the back to the States as the country didn't have an American embassy and I had no passport."

"I see." Dipper said, taking a sip of his tea.

"So who's the girl?" Mabel asked. "She seems quite domesticated."

"She's my assistant, Billeah." Dipper said. She looked her brother over. In the glow of the candles he seems to have had a rough time with life these ten years they've been apart. The eye patch was new, as were the scars on his face. He always got into trouble, and it looks like that never changed.

"Just your assistant… huh?" Mabel teased and playfully kicked his shin under the table.

"You've been gone from my life for ten years and you're going to start that _now?_ " Dipper asked astonished. Mabel flipped her soggy hair to the side and stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"Of course! I have to get caught up on your love life!" Mabel grinned. Billeah almost slammed a cup of hot tea in front of her and gave her a plastic smile.

"The sir was about to have his dinner, if you're famished, I'm sure I can scrape together a plate for you." Billeah said.

"Well, the _sir_ is my brother. I just got back to the States so we have a lot of catching up to do. Don't you have a bedtime?" Mabel retorted.

"Girls… please." Dipper said and stood from his chair. There was a loud crack and the support beam fell right where Dipper had been sitting.

"The book?" Billeah asked.

"The book…" Dipper acknowledged, staring at the splintered remains of his favorite chair.

"What book?" Mabel asked. Dipper explained about the cursed book and filled her in on most of his exploits.

"So… they cursed a book… just to curse a book?" She said. "That's stupid!"

"I know." Dipper said.

"Yet you're the one who has it now… so what does that say about you?" Mabel chuckled to her brother.

" _I know!"_ Dipper said dryly.

"So… how do you break a curse?" Mabel asked.

"We need the blood from a living relative… a lot of blood… a dangerous amount of blood. That person should worry about dying from the amount of blood we'd have to take." Billeah said coldly… staring at Mabel.

"Ohhhkayyy" Mabel said, looking at her brother for the real answer.

"Usually you reverse the effect of how it's applied. Since I stole the book, giving it to someone should break the curse and render it inert until someone steals it again." Dipper said and retrieved the stolen book.

"Here you go, Billeah!" he said and offered the book to her. She looked at it like a poisonous snake and shook her head no. "Just… take it!"

"No."

"Why not?" Dipper asked.

"Give it to her!" She said and pointed to Mabel.

"Billeah, you're being silly. Just take the cursed book." Dipper said and tried to shove it into her hands.

"No! I will not have the necklace incident happen again!" Billeah shouted and dove under the table.

"Arg… just give me the book!" Mabel said and snatched it from her brother's hands.

Dipper and an unhidden Billeah stared at her in shock.

"What?" She asked, looking through the book.

"I… didn't give it to you." Dipper said slowly.

"So?" Mabel said and flipped through the blank pages. The mirror behind her shattered, and showered her with glass.

"Oh…"

OoOoO

The timer buzzed 10 minutes.

"Okay… Candy's Turn!" Mabel said, she passed the laptop to the squealing girl and reset the egg timer.

"Candy, you can't go and have Dipper marry you and end the story… you have to let us all have a turn." Pacifica said.

"Darn… you saw through my plan." Candy said. "Okay… I think I know what happens next."

OoOoO

Dr. Candy Chiu inspected the book with a magnifying glass. She nodded to herself many times. With a pencil she flipped open the cover and inspected the pages very thoroughly.

"I see your problem here." She said.

Dipper, Billeah and Mabel sat in front of her desk and waited patiently for her answer.

"The book is cursed." Candy said triumphantly. "Very strong curse… probably voodoo. The bindings are human flesh and the paper is human flesh paper. It's very evil."

Candy's desk lamp light bulb exploded!

She was unfazed by this, as she is a curse doctor and used to such happenings. Her parents wanted her to be a real doctor, but she told them defiantly that she will live out her dream of being a curse doctor… it's a niche group.

"You have brought many strange and unusual things to me Dipper the Explorer, but this really is the cake."

"What can you tell us about it?" Mabel asked.

"This was created by an ancient trickster god. No one knows his name, for he is lost to time." Candy explained. "This curse is special, as the legends of this book's power spread far and wide. The lust for this book consumed man's heart, and everyone fought to own it. Those who obtain it through stealing suffer terrible fates. Those who find it were driven mad trying to open the words hidden on the blank pages. For, that is what the god wants to happen."

"So… if we give someone the book, the curse will break?" Dipper asked. "What if someone else steals it?"

"If someone else steals it, the curse moves to them. No two people can be cursed by the same curse." Candy said.

"So why don't I just give it to you?" Dipper said and pushed the book forward.

Candy looked down and screamed.

"Get it away from me!" she screamed.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"It… I'm sorry… it was too horrible to see… The book transformed into my parent's autobiography _My Child of Disappointment._ " Candy was out of breath and took a sip of water. "It… has a failsafe and will make it look to be the most repulsive book to the gifting recipient. Be wary as such revelations may destroy the friendship of those around you!"

"So what should we do?" Dipper asked the expert.

"I know of a temple that will allow you to destroy the book." She said, giving Dipper a 'thumbs up'. Yes, it was all going according to plan. She'll save Dipper from his curse, and then he will finally notice the attraction they have for each other. She'll prove to him she's more than just a curse doctor.

She led them to the hidden temple deep in the Gravity Falls jungle. Danger lurked around every corner, but Daring Dipper deftly defied the dastardly doom that dementedly detoured the dapper duo (and assistant) to their destination.

"How long has this temple been in the backwoods of Gravity Falls?" Dipper asked as he stared up at the menacing maw of a stone dragon.

"Oh, many years." She said and led them inside the mouth of the beast. Dipper took point and identified all the traps and pits. They didn't even have to run from the giant boulder, simply because of Dipper's experience in the field.

Finally… after their long journey they made it to the heart of the dragon. It was a ruby of unimaginable value. Perfect in every way and the size of a man's head. Over it poured molten lava… the blood of the dragon. The heart of the dragon hovered in midair by some unknown force that science has yet to discover.

"To destroy the curse, we must place the book under the heart and allow the blood of the dragon to wash over it." Candy said triumphantly. This will indeed win his heart as well. Nothing can go wrong with her plan! Dipper nodded and pulled out the book. Carefully he approached the heart holding out the book. All he had to do was toss it under the molten rock and his curse will be gone.

OoOoO

The egg timer went off.

"NOOO! HE WAS IN MY GRASP!" Candy lamented.

"I got your back, sister!" Grenda said and pulled the laptop from her grasp. Candy hung her head in defeat as Pacifica patted her back.

OoOoO

So like, Dipper the explorer was about to put the cursed book in the molten lava when suddenly the lava stopped flowing! Dipper looked up and saw his Adventurer rival Grenada the Great perched upside down holding the heart of the dragon.

 _(NOO! GRENDA WHY?)_

 _(Shush… it's my turn!)_

"The heart of the Dragon is mine! Hahaha! You'll never get it!" Grenda taunted and swung away.

"Curse you, Grenda, and your superb treasure hunting skills!" Dipper cursed and shook his fist in the air. "We must get that gem back or we will never be able to destroy the cursed book!"

The temple… no longer enchanted with the heart of the dragon began to rumble and shake. Rocks fell everywhere and the trio ran to the entrance. All the traps Dipper navigated now activated as they barreled through. They dodged poisonous darts that would kill you with a scratch. Snakes rained down on them. Spiders erupted from tiny holes and covered them. Dipper wrestled an alligator!

By the time they reached the outside. The dragon temple was nothing more than a pile of rubble.

"So what now?" Candy asked Dipper.

"We need to go back home and meet up with Mabel at home… Maybe she can use her worldly contacts to help me find Grenada."

"When you find the heart, bring it to me. I can research Dragon blood lava and try to re-create it in the lab. I think having a curse destroying ruby will really help my practice and show my parents that being a curse doctor is not such a stupid thing after all!" Candy said. Dipper said his goodbyes and left with Billeah to his home.

"So how did it go?" Mabel asked. The bookshelf behind her exploded as she drank her hot chocolate. "Not good I take it?"

"Grenda the Treasure Hunter stole the heart of the dragon. I was hoping you can use your worldly contacts to locate where she may be taking it… Its value is immeasurable so some evil overlord may want to use it to power some giant laser or something."

"True… I've met quite a few evil geniuses who may want a ruby like you described." Mabel said. "Let me make a few calls and see what I can find."

OoOoO

The egg timer went off.

"Oh man! I hate how slow I type!" Grenda said.

"Sorry! The deal was time… not word count." Mabel said. "Who's next?"

"I am!" Wendy said, but Pacifica snatched the laptop from her. Wendy scowled at her.

"I actually have a really good solution for this part of the story… Dipper needs a wealthy backer for his endeavors. I'm sure he's being Dipper and giving away all these trinkets he finds to museums and archaeologists to study, so he's barely able to make ends meet, the poor thing." Pacifica said with a grin. Wendy grumbled and sat back down.

"Now… I think he needs to give his sugar momma a call." She giggled.

OoOoO

Dipper looked at himself in the mirror. The suit was well fitted, the tie strait, and he included the diamond clip she gave him on his birthday. He attached the initialed cufflinks and nodded at his well-groomed appearance.

Mabel's contacts worked out and she discovered the Dragon's Heart was to be sold at an evil villain convention where overlords, mad scientists, and villains trade secrets and work out seedy underhanded deals.

"You look good." Billeah said. She adjusted his tie and nodded in approval. "You're going to be seeing _her_ aren't you?"

"Yes, if I'm to win back the heart I need her in my corner."

"Why don't you try and sell the book off at the auction?" Billeah suggested. "I'm sure many mad scientists or evil geniuses would want a book with this kind of curse."

"I have a responsibility to the world not to let this book fall into the wrong hands." Dipper said.

"Wouldn't that be the _right_ hands?" Billeah pointed out. "IF they have it, they'll fight and kill each other for it… or die from the terrible curses."

"I'm not a judge, jury, or executioner… I couldn't live with myself knowing I willingly gave a cursed item as a way to smite those I think are bad." Dipper sighed.

"Come home safe please, sir?" She asked. Dipper nodded and kissed her forehead.

Dipper drove down the long private driveway to the Northwest Estate. Dipper smiled at the beauty that was waiting for him at the door.

Pacifica was in a long black dress. Her hair in a tight bun with a few stray wisps falling to frame her face. Her necklace alone must have been worth a small fortune. Her shoes…

 _(Enough! We know she's rich! Get on with it!)_

 _(Uhhg.. fine… I'm just trying to set the mood!)_

 _(I know the mood you want.)_

 _(Mabel! Stop!)_

Dipper got out of his car and gracefully bowed, kissing her hand in the process.

"Paz." He said.

"Please… Pacifica will do just fine." She said with a slight blush. "At least… while we're in public."

"Well aren't you a vision of beauty and grace." Dipper said and extended his arm.

"Indeed I am. You clean up well yourself." She said, putting her arm in his. "I have the jet waiting at the airport.

"Okay." He said and led her to his car. She pulled away and gave him a coy smile.

"I think I'll have Hubert drive us. I'd like to discuss some… other things… with you." She said. Dipper raised an eyebrow as a black limo pulled around. He helped her inside and followed her into the car. The sun set on the horizon as they drove to the airport.

When they arrived, Hubert opened the door to the limo. Dipper got out and helped Pacifica to her feet. She took a moment to adjust his tie, and took his arm as they got into the Leer jet waiting on the terminal.

 _(HEY! What did you two do in the limo?)_

 _(N…Nothing!)_

 _(Then why did you adjust his tie?)_

 _(IT WAS CROOKED!)_

 _(Uh..huh.)_

"It's twelve hours to Bangkok where the auction is being held. Are you sure your contact was able to get you a new identity?" Pacifica asked. "I just worry your reputation might proceed you with that sort of crowd."

"Oh come on. I look like a classic _take over the world_ sort of guy!" Dipper chuckled and tapped his eye patch.

They got on the plane and flew to Bangkok. Dipper took a moment to review his notes.

"I have to ask… I'm surprised you got on a plane since you've been cursed with bad luck." She chuckled when they plane hit turbulence. Dipper reassuringly held her hand. Even when she's cool as ice, he always knew if she was nervous.

"Who said I was having bad luck? Before we left, Billeah stole the book from me after I snagged it from Mabel." Dipper chuckled. "I hope she's doing okay."

 _Billeah huddled in the basement as water pipe after water pipe erupted and showered her with cold water. She ran out of the house and stopped dead in her tracks as lightning struck a few feet from her._

" _HURRY UP AND GET BACK!" She screamed into the torrential rains._

 _A tree fell, barely missing the young sobbing girl._

"Yeah… I'm sure she'll be fine." Pacifica said patting his hand. She laid her head on his shoulder and took a nap.

OoOoO

The egg timer buzzed. Before Pacifica could protest, Wendy snatched the laptop out of her hands.

"Alright… let's get some action in here! This is starting to get boring" Wendy chuckled evilly. "Grenda… you're going to enjoy this."

"All right!" Grenda cheered

OoOoO

Dipper and Pacifica headed out of the airport and looked around for their contact. A redheaded woman with a chauffeur hat and suit was holding a sign that read 'Northwest'.

"Hello!" Dipper said as they approached her.

"Hi! I'm Wendy and I'll be your driver today." She said.

Wendy led them to an impressive looking BMW. It was not as big as the Rolls Royce or limousines Pacifica was accustomed too, but she nodded in approval.

"So… I hear you're in town for a convention?" Wendy asked. Dipper nodded, but remained silent. "I see."

Dipper glanced behind them and saw six fast approaching motorcycles

"Umm, who are they?" Dipper pointed behind them.

"Oh… just some trouble." Wendy chuckled and took her hat off. She turned on the radio and blasted some good chase music and tore through the streets of Bangkok. The motorcycles closed in and started shooting at the car. The back window exploded, showering Pacifica and Dipper with glass!

Wendy deftly avoided the more direct blasts. She pulled a lever and a slick of oil poured from a hidden compartment onto the roads.

"Yus!" she cheered as three of them slid into a brick wall and exploded. More motorcycles fell in line as Wendy maneuvered through the streets, dodging bullets and mounted rockets.

"Why are they chasing us?" Pacifica screamed.

"I don't know… what are you guys really going after?" Wendy asked with a smile. She turned into a parking garage and sped for a brick wall. Pacifica screamed as they passed harmlessly through. She skidded to a stop and turned back to her passengers and winked.

"Wendy Corduroy… CIA." She said. Dipper gave her a sly wink and nodded.

"Well, Wendy… why is the CIA so interested in us?" Dipper said coolly.

"We know about the Heart of the Dragon. We can't let it fall into the wrong hands. We're here to steal it back." She said.

"Well, that's what _we're_ here to do. We need to win the auction. We don't need any help from the government." Dipper said.

"And that's where you're wrong. If they even get a hint of who you are… you're both dead. That's where I come in." She said, letting them out of the car.

"We've rigged a bank account to track the funds used to purchase the Heart. This way we'll be able to seize and shut down whatever banks are laundering these criminal's funds. Once you have the heart, we'll be able to shut down most of their operations in one fell swoop." She said proudly and handed the two of them a packet.

"We just have one problem" Wendy said and leveled a finger to Pacifica.

"Me? Why?" She asked.

"You're too well known. WE set up a new identity for Dipper, but you stick out like a sore thumb." She said. "So we've changed up your invitation."

"You're kidding me" Pacifica said dryly.

"Wait till you see me in my dress… I hope you can dance, Dipper." Wendy said coyly and sauntered off.

 _(So not fair!)_

 _(Hey... you did who knows what to him in that limo!)_

 _(I fixed his tie! We had a nice… civil conversation!)_

Dipper put the microphone in his ear and did a microphone check.

"You keep your hands above the waist, mister! I don't trust her!" Pacifica chirped in her ear.

"I'll be on my best behavior." Dipper chuckled. He waited in the lobby of the convention center. He recognized many of the individuals who entered. He personally liberated one item or another from most of their grubby hands. Dipper looked at his reflection in the window and chuckled at the shock white hair wig and blue eye that looked back.

"Looking for someone?" Wendy asked from behind. Dipper almost dropped his drink. She wore a long black dress that fell off one shoulder and had a slit that ran up most of her leg. Her hair was in a bun with two decorated hairsticks holding it together. The green eye shadow and red lipstick…

 _(And I couldn't say how I looked?)_

 _(You always look good!)_

 _(And who says you don't?)_

 _(Get back to the story!)_

Dipper greeted his companion and made their way back to the auction. He made a mental note of some of the other artifacts on display and would go after them later. Dipper sat next to Wendy and waited patiently for the item to come up.

"And now… we have the Heart of the Dragon!" the announcer proclaimed. Grenda the Treasure Hunter walked on stage and set the giant heart shaped ruby on the pedestal. Everyone cheered for her find and the bidding began.

The bidding was intense… a few of the mad scientists used a death ray on another auctioneer and were promptly executed on the spot for violation of the rules. Dipper and Wendy waited till the smaller fish fell before they started in.

"Five hundred twenty million dollars!" the auctioneer announced and nodded to Dipper. "Going once…twice… sold to number forty two!"

Wendy gave him a kiss on the cheek as he waved to the rest of the crowd. Dipper took his leave and went to pick up the heart.

"Now we need to get this back to Candy and then we'll get the curse removed from that book." Dipper said as he handed the auctioneer a check.

"Now… you don't have to leave right away, do ya?" Wendy said in his ear.

OoOoO

The timer buzzed

"Damnit!" Wendy said and shoved the laptop away. Pacifica was giggling as Billeah took her computer back.

"Alright… you can finish it up" Mabel said. She leaned over to read what Billeah typed.

OoOoO

The CIA was able to track the money used for the auction. Agent Wendy was able to arrest various auction-goers for crimes against humanity.

"The promotion looks good on you, Wendy" Dipper said. Pacifica clung to his arm and smiled politely, but with just enough edge to say _back off._

"Thanks, couldn't have done it without you." Wendy said. "Hey, if you are ever in my neck of the woods give me a call and we'll go bust some more bad guys!"

"Will do, I need to get this home." Dipper said.

Dipper and Pacifica's flight was uneventful. Dipper mostly slept while Pacifica silently enjoyed his presence. As the plane landed Dipper and Pacifica were met by Mabel and a cowering and very unhappy looking Billeah.

"We had four flat tires on our way over here, the carburetor blew and two taxies got in a wreck… We were lucky to have survived!" Mabel said with a grin. She seemed to be enjoying the excitement while Billeah looked to be a bundle of nerves, clutching the cursed book to her chest.

She looked up at a smiling Dipper and rushed to him sobbing.

"Don't ever leave me again!" she sobbed.

"It's okay, I got the heart of the dragon, and we'll get this curse off you." Dipper said, and he yanked the book from her arms. With a fluid motion, he grabbed Pacifica and Billeah then side stepped as the wing fell off the plane and crashed only a foot away from them.

"Seems to be getting stronger." Dipper chuckled. Billeah's terrified face only confirmed his suspicions.

As they made their way to Candy the Curse Doctor, Dipper avoided a number of unlucky catastrophes. He arrived at Candy's lab with only minor injuries. Mabel, Pacifica and Billeah patched him up as they handed the heart to Candy. She rushed it inside to ready the curse remover machine.

"Well…well…well… look what we have here!" Grenda the Treasure Hunter said. She dramatically stepped out from behind the ficus in the office and held a gun to the group. "Looks like the Dragon heart has been handed off, but I'm here for a bigger prize."

"What do you want Grenda?" Dipper said as he moved the girls behind him, protecting them valiantly. His steely brown eye glowered at his foe.

Grenda pointed to the book he clutched to his chest.

"I know all about that book and it's great power." Grenda chuckled. "Now… hand it over."

"You don't understand. We just want to break the curse on it!" Dipper protested.

"Why would you do that? This grants unlimited power to any who possess it." Grenda said and held her hand out. Dipper moved to keep the book to his chest.

"Don't be a hero…" Grenda said. "Give me the book."

"You'll have to take it." Dipper said coolly. Grenda chuckled and walked forward. She grabbed the book and yanked it out of his protesting hands.

"I'll see you on the flip side… sucker!" Grenda shouted and ran out the door. Immediately she tripped down the stairs to the street. "What the heck?"

Grenda was then attacked by crows as she ran down the street screaming.

"Should we go after her?" Mabel asked. Dipper shook his head no.

"She'll be back… then we'll break the curse." Dipper said. "How about we got to dinner. Pacifica's paying."

"YAY!" Mabel cheered. Pacifica chuckled and opened the door.

"Don't I always?" She chided and hugged Dipper. Dipper wrapped his free arm around Billeah as they got into the limo and headed to the restaurant.

After dinner Dipper was getting ready for bed. He was writing in his journal in his bed when there was a soft knock on the door. Dipper looked up and saw Billeah outlined in the full moonlight.

"I thought I'd lost you." She whispered.

"I was scared for you too." Dipper said, closing the book. He looked at his assistant and saw her for what she truly was, more than someone who gave him coffee and made sure the lights were on, but as a woman. Her thin yellow nightie outlined her perfect form. She slowly approached him, her steps unsure.

"I… I don't want you to see me as a child… or someone you saved… I want you to see me as me." She whispered.

"I do see you." Dipper said and kissed her. As they kissed, they shed their physical bodies and intertwined their essences, becoming one. All their thoughts, hopes and experiences became one as they shared every aspect of their being… all their secrets, desires, hopes and fears were laid out to bear and accepted by the one they shared it with.

OoOoO

Mabel looked around at everyone's stunned silence. Billeah stopped typing and raised an eyebrow.

"What… was that last part about?" Wendy asked.

"Umm… Dipper and that Billeah… they um…"

"Did they have sex?" Pacifica chuckled. "I get it's your story and they were technically not related and all… but… that was kind of weird."

"I… umm…" Billeah stammered. "Isn't that what happens?"

"Um… not really." Wendy snickered. "You're old enough… didn't you have health class in school?"

"Oh… yeah she skipped that." Mabel giggled. "She got really embarrassed and ran out."

"Oh… I'll look it up." Billeah said and her fingers flew across the keyboard.

"You'll look up what?" Pacifica asked, and sudden horror dawned on her face. "MABEL! Stop her!"

Mabel caught on to what her cousin was about to do when her speakers erupted with the sounds of two enthralled individuals. There was a shocked look of terror on Billeah's face as her mind was exposed to the forms of human copulation.

"I… I…" She stammered, she franticly slammed random keys while wide eyed as the onslaught burned into her fragile mind.

Wordlessly she stood and left, leaving the video playing as the performers were in the throes of passion.

Wendy snatched up the laptop, grinned, and turned her head to the side.

"Wow… how are they doing that?" She giggled. Everyone gathered around to see what she meant.

"She's… flexible… that's for sure." Candy said.

"He's not gonna put it…." Mabel gasped

"He did…" Pacifica said, slack jawed.

"EEWWWW!" They all screamed.

OoOoO

Billeah bumped into Dipper. He was reading a book and looked down at her. The eruption of screeches and giggles from inside Mabels room piqued his curiosity… what was going on in there?

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. She looked shake up and was mumbling about something. He patted her head and smiled. "BIlleah? Something on your mind?"

She looked him up and down. Her eyes grew wide with some revelation. She turned beet red, covered her face then kicked his shin and ran off to her room. The slammed door echoed down the hallway as he rubbed his bruised shin.

"What did I do?" He said rubbing his assaulted leg.


End file.
